Guilty as charged....

OK....yes, I did it.  After searching for an address in my old facebook messages, I found them....the old messages from the ex-boyfriend.  So, of course, foolish me decided to just read one, which proceeded to me obsessively searching my facebook messages for every message he had ever sent me over the course of our relationship.  Then for good measure I decided to retrieve all the cards he ever gave me (which of course I kept neatly together) and throw a major pity party.  FYI....of course I am not the only one that has ever done this or that is what I will tell myself, so we well know that no good can come out of situations like these. 

So after the pity party you just remain confused.  Well, he said he loved me, he said he wanted me to marry me, he said he was the luckiest guy in the world, he said I was his favorite thing!  What went wrong?  Then the obvious conclusion comes.... you went wrong.  You must have done something wrong to make him change his mind and then you analyze what you did wrong till your blue in the face.  There I sat on the edge of my bed on the verge of tears.  Then I decided this had gone too far!  The devil wasn't gonna steal my joy, or what was left of it ...

So the obvious questions came to mind  1.) Do people just fall out of love?  and 2.) Is it really possible for someone to say I will love you forever and really mean it?  Forever is a really long time!  The older and older I get this statement is harder and harder to believe.  Are people that are married a long time still "in love" or have they just learned how to put up with someone successfully with minimal disagreements?

In relationships why do people change their minds?  Why do people say things they don't mean?  Why do people want to be in love when it is a known fact that the majority of those relationships will end in heartache, hence the skyrocketing divorce rate.  So the question remains:  Is the feeling of being in love, worth the heartache that happens when the other person changes their mind?   Hmmmm...and, no, this is not a trick question even though it sure sounds like one!  This reminds me of a "Sex and the City" episode where Carrie questions if she ever really loved Mr. Big.

After much consideration, I guess I will have hope.  I guess I will choose to believe that someone will love me forever...one day.  Hey....it is better than the alternative ;)

Hebrews 11:1 
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.