The Unthinkable

The tragic events that occurred on Friday left me heartbroken.  I just imagined all those parents coming home to a Christmas tree filled with presents that will never be opened, houses that Santa will not visit this year.  I work with children, and my mother was a kindergarten teacher, so the events that occurred are unfathomable to me. 

I am speech pathologist who evaluates children on a weekly basis to determine if they have speech and/or language impairments.  Every week at my job I am reminded of the realities that many children have to deal with on a daily basis.  I, myself, had a childhood out of a storybook.  My parents anxiously awaited my birth, and I was born into a home that had a Mama and a Daddy.  As a young child, I was held and adored.  I had a warm bed to sleep, never went hungry, and my clothes were never dirty.  I got bedtime stories, a cake on my birthday, and Santa always visited my house on Christmas.  I was taught what was right and what was wrong and, when I did wrong, they were consequences.  I had chores and responsibilities, not to receive an allowance, but because I did what my parents told me to do.  I learned from a very early age that hard work was necessary to succeed, and that I was only entitled to what I earned.  My parents paid for my undergraduate and graduate school education, on two teacher salaries, because they wanted me to have a better life than them.  What a lucky girl I am......

Many of the children I see on  a weekly basis at work have a very different childhood than mine.  More often than not, their birth was not planned or anticipated, and many would not know their father if they saw him.  They don't get bedtime stories, their birthdays go unnoticed, and Santa often forgets where they live.  They are no warm beds, toys to play with, or full stomachs, and often the only meals they get is the free meals they receive at school.  No one helps them with their homework, teaches them life lessons, or encourages them to follow their dreams.

The worst part about my job is when I realize a parent has brought their child to see me in hopes their child would be "delayed" enough to get a disability check.  It is very hard to sit across the table from a parent that would wish difficulties on their child.  However, my job is to help the child and not the parent. While I work with a child, my mind wanders. It wonders what they could do if their situation was different.  It wonders if they will get the help they need.  It wonders if they have a warm bed to sleep in.  It wonders if they will go to bed hungry. It wonders if they will graduate from high school.  The question that often comes to mind is, "Why did I get a Mama and a Daddy that loved me?"  I am  reminded on a daily basis how lucky I am, because there by the grace of God go I.  I could have easily been that little boy or little girl. 

My job would be even more difficult if I did not have strong faith.  I pray every time I pray that God watches over all the children I encounter and that they are safe and receiving the help they need to succeed in whatever their heart desires.

I  will never be able to understand the events that happened on Friday, and I pray that God provides those families that lost a loved one peace and comfort.  I am reminded of a verse that always occurs to me when something happens that I cannot understand....

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

I know that because God is good all the time, no matter what.

Should I "eat more chicken"?

Funny how a chicken sandwich franchise can get so many people fired up.  Now if people would react to other political issues with the same vigor!  I think the whole thing has turned into a big ole' mess and I think most people are missing the point of the argument.  It is not about whether or not you support gay marriage, it is about freedom of speech.  We live in America, the land of the free.  We can believe whatever we want and say whatever we want!  We are one lucky group of people, we Americans!  Now if we can just learn to be tolerant of others beliefs, that's the tricky part! 

I haven't followed the Chick-fil-A saga as some people have, but this is my take.  So the story goes, and forgive me for I am paraphrasing, someone asked the big wig at Chick-fil-A his view on gay marriage and he stated he believes in "traditional" marriage.  I personally didn't think this would be a shocker to anyone since Chick-fil-A is an openly Christian business, which closes their doors on Sunday where their employees can have the opportunity to worship, if they please.  Then the public uproar came...He can't believe that! He can't support that!  That's wrong! That's not what I believe!  People we live in America he can believe whatever he pleases!  If you don't agree with his beliefs and choose not to eat a Chick-fil-A, that is completely your choice, but goodness gracious just display some tolerance and shut-up about it already.  Particularly if you call yourself a "liberal".  If you want everyone to have "equal" rights than he should have the right, just like anybody else, to believe what he wants and to voice his opinion!  Some people preach equality until you disagree with their version of equality. 

I, for one, will continue to eat a Chick-fil-A and it has nothing to do with the owners beliefs on marriage, gay or otherwise.  The food is delicious and the customer service surpasses any fast food chain hands down.  The other day I waited approximately 2 minutes for a cup of coffee at the 5 points location and I had three different people apologize to me for my wait!  Some might not agree with the business on some political issues, but the corporation obviously knows how to hire hard workers and run a successful business.  It should be noted I would address the issues of cities banning Chick-fil-A's, if it wasn't so absolutely ridiculous.  I think most people understand that closing a successful business that employs many people and stimulates the economy because you don't agree with their opinion on a political issue, well it's just plain stupid.  I am sure that the people that are gainfully employed there would agree....

So my opinion (not that anyone cares):  I myself I'm a Christian.  I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, read the Bible,  and try to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God.  However, I am also a sinner, in fact, I sin everyday.  I thank God every time I pray that he sent his only son to die for my sins so I could receive his grace!  In the Bible, Jesus teaches one of the most important commandments is love your neighbor like you love yourself.  He also teaches he without sin cast the first stone. (which translates into nobody should throw stones!).  So I try not to judge, even though I do, I try not to.  I wake up everyday and try to be the best person I can be and hopefully everyone else does the same. 

I am reminded of a Ben Harper lyric, "Your choice is who you choose to be and if you're causing no harm you're alright with me"  We all are sinners, so don't judge people because they sin differently than you.  If people's actions are not causing harm then shut your mouth!  As we learn in kindergarten: "If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all."  Instead, smile, help others, give freely of your time, be thoughtful, work hard, show kindness, and pray.  Pray constantly about how you can be a better person and stop worrying about others.  Just be good to people!  What a wonderful way to worship God just by loving your neighbor!  God smiles when he sees good and I hope everyday people see good in me.  I wholeheartedly believe God notices every detail of my life.  I also believe as the verse says in James "Every good and perfect gift is from above."  So maybe one day someone will see good in me and connect it to Christianity.  Christians, in a whole,  are not the people on pedestals shaking their fingers in judgement.  Unfortunately, those "Christians" get the most media attention.  Christianity is not shaking your finger and passing judgement, instead it is holding your arms open, welcoming people that are different than you, helping others, showing kindness.  How quickly we forget!

The moral of the story is when I stand before God on my judgment day and I believe we all will be held accountable for our actions here on Earth, I don't want God to look at me and say "You judged others harshly and had hatred in your heart."  How ashamed I would be!  Which reminds me of one of my favorite verses from James:

"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?"  James 4:12

One happy girl...

No posts in a long time, but not to worry I still have stuff to say. :)  After work today I had to run to 280 for some errands.  I was standing in line at Starbucks, when I saw a couple out of the corner of my eye that was obviously in an argument.  She was mad and he was trying to dig his way out.  I wondered what the mistake was that was made, what caused the hurt feelings.  Then in my mind, I thought, which I think more frequently than not here recently, "I am glad I am single."  I got my tall iced coffee with room for cream and headed home to an empty house with the windows rolled down and a smile on my face.

Single people are often pitied.  "Oh, don't worry you will find someone."  These comments used to bother me, I mean really bother me.  Like my life wasn't important, significant because I wasn't coupled off, haven't reproduced.  Lets take a deeper look.  Yes, I do come home to an empty house.  However, once I am at home I do whatever I want.  If I am hungry I eat, If I want to take a nap I sleep, If I want to go out I go...I pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want.  Not a bad gig and certainly not worthy of pity.  Now I would be lying if I said I wouldn't love to have a companion, a best friend to share my life with me, but I am pretty darn happy all by my lonesome.  I haven't realized a lot during my short life here on earth, but I have realized that happiness is definitely not a destination.  It's a choice you make everyday when you get out of bed.  Just because you are alone, doesn't mean you're lonely.  Don't wait on events, people to make you happy. When I get married, when I have a baby, when I make more money....why not just be happy now?  My questioning in my head has changed here recently.  It used to be "I wonder if I will ever meet someone?"  Now it is "Do I want to get married?"

I am not very good at relationships, this is a fact, hence my single status.  I have tried to be one way and the other way, none of "my ways" seem to work.  Then the inevitable break up occurs, which flipping sucks.  Along with the hurt feelings, comes anger.  You are so angry that things didn't work out and you feel like a big fat failure.  You will tell anybody and everybody about how you were "done wrong".  Guilty as charged, just read my blog.  Another thing I am guilty of is doing some of the wrong.  There are no innocent parties in break ups, each party carries some of the blame.  You think back about the things you shouldn't have done, things you shouldn't have said.  Eventually, the anger fades and you can recall the good times, those times you smiled.  You realize that people fall out of love, change their minds, or just change into a person that doesn't think you are the one.  Sometimes you change your mind, sometimes you're not the one "changing".  There are lots of things in this life that you have no control over and how someone feels about you is one of them.  So someone thinks you are not the one, the world doesn't stop and "it is what it is".

Things eventually work out in the end, BUT sometimes in the back of my head I see myself in a rocking chair on a front porch and sitting next to me is a handsome man.  I see us sitting there every Sunday afternoon while the sun goes down and we never run out of things to say to one another.  Now that is a happy thought.....

If I got the winning numbers...

Apparently there was a big lottery last week.  Of course, living in Alabama we don't sell lottery tickets, so I didn't realize this until the day they were giving the money away.  Now I have to admit I don't understand the allure of gambling in any form.  I don't buy lottery tickets.  I could care less about going to casinos, well, besides the free drinks!  I would like to go to Las Vegas, but just to see what it is about, not to gamble.  I like to spend my money on other things.  However, I always say if you work hard you should spend your money on exactly what you want.  If gambling does it for you, gamble away!

I started thinking over the weekend....what if I won the lottery?  What would I do with the money?  I put a lot of thought into this and have come up with several things I would absolutely do. 

1. First things first, I would quit my job.  No more speech therapy for me!  I like my job, but would I stay if I won the lottery....no.  I think that calls for a HELL no!
2. I wouldn't take too much money to make me happy, so I would give the majority of it to charity.  I would keep enough to know that no one in my family would ever have to worry about money again.
3. I would take my Mama to Hawaii.
4. I would take my Daddy to Montana, in fact I might just buy my Daddy a house in Montana out in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles from anyone.  He would be happy as a pig in mud :)
5. I would buy three houses:
1. One home would be in rural Alabama, out in the middle of the woods.  It would be beside some form of water, whether it was a river or just a small creek.  It would have a front porch with a swing and multiple rocking chairs, so I could sit outside on a summer night with a cold beer and watch lightning bugs or in the early morning light with a cup of coffee.  It would have a big screen porch in the back with a bed, so I could sleep outside on cool nights.  I would learn to plant flowers in my yard and I would also have a vegetable garden, with every kind of vegetable imaginable.  I would work in my garden, read books, go fishing, work crossword puzzles, and enjoy all those little things that you don't have time to do when you are working.
2. I would buy a house on a remote Caribbean island, where I could walk outside and put my toes in the sand immediately.  I would lay out in the sun constantly and be golden brown.  I would get to wear swimsuits and flip flops every day!  I would buy a sailboat and learn how to sail.  I would eat lots and lots of seafood.  I would make friends with all the locals and buy a moped which would be my main form of transportation. 
3. Lastly, I would buy a house out west, right in the middle of a mountain range.  I would have a big window in my bedroom, so every morning I would wake up and see a gorgeous mountain.  My house would have a hot tub, in which I would sit outside in often with a glass of wine and bask in the beautiful scenery around me.  I would learn how to ski and drink hot chocolate on winter nights.
6. Of course, it goes without saying I would pay for all my family and friends to visit me at my homes anytime they pleased...I mean I am a millionaire now!  Plus, I wouldn't let anyone decorate my homes, I would spend all my new found free time doing it myself and love every minute of it!
7. I would travel....everywhere.  I would take several months to travel around Europe.  I would go on an African safari. ( I can't imagine seeing a lion, a giraffe, elephants just roaming around, not in a zoo, in their natural habitat.)  I would go to New Zealand.  I would go an Alaskan cruise. I would go to the Maldives,Tahiti, and Bora Bora.  I would stay in an igloo in Iceland.  I would go to Carnival in Brazil.  I would see the Pyramids in Egypt.  I mean I would go everywhere!!
8. I would get a kick-ass RV and take the road trip of all road trips and see every inch of America. 
9. I probably would buy a nice car, but to be honest I would be just as satisfied driving my Honda Accord. :)
10. Now that I am a millionaire and don't have to go to work, I would never wear make-up.   However, if I did have to go somewhere I would pay someone to come over and fix my hair and make-up.  I would never have to straighten this mane of hair or apply mascara again!  Plus, this person that came to my house would also paint my nails.  I would never have chipping nail polish again!

Oh....a girl can dream, right? Maybe I should have rounded up one of those lottery tickets!

Thought this was fitting :)

Luke 1:74:75
We have been rescued from our enemies, so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness for as long as we live.

Sometimes it last in love, but sometimes....

Favorite version of this song!  You just can't help but love Adele.  Enjoy! 

Mark 13: 31-33  Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.  But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.  Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is.

Springing Forward

I love the time change!  This means summer is just around the corner! :)  I love summer.  I love sitting outside to eat or enjoy a drink.  I love laying out at the pool.  I love going to the beach.  Oh...I can't wait!  However, my sleep schedule is struggling a little bit. 

I woke up last Sunday morning, proceeded to get ready to go to church; however, while I was walking out the door looked down at my phone to realize the time had changed!  Awesome.... well at least I was up and ready for the day. :)

The good thing about the time change is now when I get off work the sunshine is out and it remains light for 2+ hours!  I always feel like I can get more accomplished when the sunshine is out.  Monday I decided to go buy a tanning package.  It should be noted that it has been almost 2 years since I have been to the tanning bed.  The tanning bed has its pros and cons.  The con is it causing wrinkles and with my 30th birthday quickly approaching I try to avoid anything that causes wrinkles like the plague.  The pro is that you look so much better with a tan. It really does give you a youthfu glow!  Therefore, I decided to start going again for a couple of months to prepare for the summer, then replace it with laying out by the pool.  You have to be careful not to go to the tanning bed too much or you will end up with the "tantastic" tan, as I like to call.  The tan that looks too orange and very unnatural.  Fortunately, my skin is so pasty white, that I don't think my pigment could ever reach that shade of orange. 

I decided to buy a package at Palm Beach Tan, because I previously had a membership there when I lived in Montgomery.  The closest one was in Vestavia Hills, which works out because I could stop by on my way home from work.  The problem with going to the tanning bed in Vestavia Hills is you are met with beautiful girls 10 years younger than you that are tanning to go on fabulous spring break vacations that will undoubtedly be financed by their daddies.  So much for getting a youthful glow....now I really feel like an old maid!  Plus, those lights in tanning salons, I think they are programmed to make you look worse, they must want to brainwash you into thinking if you were tanner those blemishes and wrinkles wouldn't be as obvious!  However, I have already purchased the package, so I at least have to go for a month.  I don't have a fabulous vacation to look forward to, but at least I will look tan when I lay out at random apartment pools this summer! At least I have that going for me :)

Another positive is that I actually I have time to go run/walk Lucy at the park, instead of running in a safe, lighted area. (that is if I can weed through work traffic)  Lucy and I went to Veteran's Park yesterday and I tried to run with her on a leash.  It never quite works out at Veteran's, there is way too much water and she is too tempted to stop every five seconds.  The run quickly turned into a leisurely walk, which I must say was better since it was like 80 degrees yesterday.  Plus, I didn't feel too bad since I ran almost 4 miles the day before.  For good measure, Lucy and me stopped at Pizza Hut and ended up getting a dinner box, which really wasn't necessary since I am single person.  However, it is just too good of a deal to pass up.  You get a medium pizza, 5 cheesesticks, and 10 cinnamon sticks for $10.  Basically I ate a bunch of bread and cheese, which completed cancelled any previous exercising.  Oh well, it was worth it! :)

Tell me that doesn't look delicious?!

I read these verses last night describing when Jesus was crucified: 

Mark 15: 33-34  At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon.  And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

I love these verses.  It is comforting knowing that someone absolutely perfect and completely  faithful actually cried out to his heavenly father questioning why this was happening to him, thinking he had turned away from him.  Good reminder, no matter what happens in your life your heavenly father has a purpose and plan for you.  He NEVER abandons you.

  

Forced Awkward Intimate Situation Called Dating....

Blind dates might actually be something someone, somewhere made up to torture single people.  I have never had the pleasure (catch my sarcasm) of going on a blind date until last week.  In attempt to put myself out there (as I have been told by so many people to do) I went out on a blind date.  I don't think there will be another anywhere in my near future.  As mentioned in a previous post, persons who have a significant other often think dating around is fun.  It's not....trust me, even if you do get a free meal.  So I meet this random in a restaurant, eat my free meal, and have mediocre conversation for an hour and fifteen minutes.  Further, he chose to spend most of the date turned to the side.  I could count on my hands the times he actually made eye contact.  (It should be noted I usually feel awkward when people make too much eye contact, but I do at least like people to look in the general direction of me when conversing.)  I could not get out of there fast enough. 

If "dating" is supposed to help you get over your ex it actually has the opposite effect on me.  I got in the car and started the comparison immediately.  Well...he wasn't as handsome as him, he wasn't as funny as him, he wasn't as charismatic as him, he wasn't even as tall as him (and if you know me that is a big deal).  He didn't hold a candle to him.  Now, yes, I realize they weren't in a race, but my blind date, definitely didn't win the imaginary competition.  The conclusion came that maybe I am not ready for blind dates or for that matter dates in general.

In the meantime I guess I am gonna take advantage of this time by doing things you usually don't do or don't have time to do when you are busy "true-lovin".   For me this includes watching bad reality television (Real Housewives of Anywhere, anything with Kardashians, Teen Mom, The Bachelor, etc.), eating Special K multiple nights a week for dinner, spending way too much time on Pinterest, getting frequent manicures, exercising more frequently (which this isn't a bad thing), and shopping for things I don't need.  Yes, I will take the before mentioned activities over a free meal any day.  I had to add this clip from Wedding Crashers, he pretty much hits the nail on the head!

Plus, don't get me started on internet dating.  People will tell you to try it.  You will think the following:  I am older and I am not going to meet anybody at work. (Most people I work with are women or married.)  I have little to no luck meeting someone out.  Everyone I know is married.  So, you think..."Why not?"  Then you do and you realize why not.  Within the first week of joining an internet dating site.  I had someone write me a three paragraph poem expressing how he knew I was the one.  The other people that contacted me were divorcees in their 40s, men with multiple children, or atheists.  These are the people they think are matches for me?  FAIL.  To say I was underwhelmed with the options was an understatement.  I deleted my account shortly after.  I'll take my chances meeting someone the old-fashioned way.  The right guy will show up when he shows up.

1 Corinthians 8:2-3 Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much.  But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.

This Should be Your Playlist: The Beatles

If you don't like at least one Beatles' song I think there might be something wrong with you.  No, seriously there might be something wrong with you!  I love the Beatles and most of the songs they sing.  One of the best concerts, if not the best concert, I have ever seen was Paul McCartney a couple of years ago.  It was amazing and Paul is a certified bad ass if you didn't know.  If there isn't a Beatles song on your playlist already you oughta be ashamed, so go download one immediately.  I heard Blackbird when I was running tonight and it is definitely one of my favorites.  (Plus, I got to hear Paul sing it live!)

I have got to post another.  There is just too many good ones!  Norwegian Wood:

OK....just one more, Don't Let Me Down

Proverbs 11:2 Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Crazy, Stupid Love

Redbox is such a good invention.  However, this is what happens when I rent movies from Redbox.  I keep them like a week and then the $1 movie turns into a $7 movie.  Last weekend when the weather was bad I ended up going to rent some movies and watched Crazy Stupid Love.  I must say it was one of the best movies I have seen in a while.  It was super funny.  I have always liked Steve Carell and Ryan Gosling....where has he been!?  They mention in the movie that he looks like he is photo shopped and he definitely does!

photo source:  http://www.techtv101.com/



Love is crazy and stupid.  You find someone that is great on paper, that most girls would die to date and not feel a single thing.  Then you find someone that is so different than you on so many levels and you just love that person better than anything.  Crazy and stupid, yes, but LOVE is the best feeling in the world.  That is why there are people lining up to be "crazy and stupid".  As a single person, you know what I miss about being in love.....lots.  It is things you take for granted when you are in a relationship.

• Someone to call when you leave work
• Not having any plans for the weekend, but it doesn't matter because you know you will be with him
• Waking up Saturday morning and having someone to eat lunch with
• Just having someone to go out to eat with. Period.
• When you are out of town texts that tell you how much he misses you
• Texts that say I love you for no reason at all
• Taking road trips and having someone to talk to the way there and back
• Holding hands (I also love when you are in church and the preacher is praying the final prayer and he reaches over and holds your hand)
• Staying in and watching TV on a random night
• Another thing I miss is when you are head over heels in love, you can be content as can be watching that person sleep.  You watch him sleep and wonder how in the world you got so lucky to be with someone like him.

The list could go on and on, but the simple fact is when relationships don't end the way you planned.  You miss your best friend.  You leave work and reach for your phone, but you can't call that person anymore.  You hear something funny, silly, stupid and you want to tell him, but you can't.  Then you play the waiting game, you wait for the next person that makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world.  I found some pins that I thought went well with this post:

photo source:  http://imgfave.com/



heart versus brain

photo source:  http://www.tumblr.com/

photo source:  http://picturesandquotes.net/page/17

photo source:  http://inspiredjoyfulchaos.tumblr.com/post/5491636858

photo source:  http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard

photo source: http://imgfave.com/view/1834419

I thought I would end with some Avett Brothers, because, yes, there is an Avett Bros song that describes every situation!

I love this performance of "Please Pardon Yourself".  Scott breaks a banjo string and keeps going.  Every lyric in this song is great.  Here is a couple of my favorites:

I adore this lyric:

"How do I know when it's time to stop?
Runnin' from the things I do, being things I'm not
Oh I have tried, but I just changed my mind
Every night befalls every morning light "

Book Club

After a taking a blog hiatus for a week, I'm back!  I have been thinking of blog posts all week, but have not found the time to sit down to write anything.  The past couple of months I have started to read again.  I used to read a book a week, but when I moved to Birmingham a little over a year ago I stopped for some reason.  The past couple of months I started back and I forgot how much I enjoy it.  I thought I would blog about books I have read recently or ones I have enjoyed in the past.

This year I made a New Year's resolution to read the whole Bible.  I have read books in the Bible, particularly New Testament books, but never the whole Bible.  I have had a One Year Bible for a while, but never read it like I should.  So, I thought I would start fresh on January 1.  Though they say most people give up on their New Year's resolutions by Valentine's Day,  I am proud to say I haven't!  Therefore, my first recommendation is the Bible and I must say it is a good read! :)  Seriously, I definitely would recommend a One Year Bible if you are interested in studying the Bible or re-reading the Bible.  It breaks up the books making it is easier to read.  Every day your read from the Old Testament, the New Testament, a Psalm, and a Proverb, so you won't get bogged down with those Old Testament books.  My Bible is below, but they make a ton of One Year Bibles, so you should be able to find one that fits you.

photo source: http://www.bridgewaychurchonline.com/

Last week I also read the book "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffin.  The title probably sounds familiar because they made a movie recently based on the book with Kate Hudson and Jennifer Goodwin.  Of course, I followed up and watched the movie after I read the book. (You always have to read the book first, because it is almost a guarantee it will be better!)  The movie was cute, but like I predicted the book was better.  I have read Emily Giffin books before and she is a good relatable writer.  Most of her books are geared toward young women and her writing style is really easy to read.  I would recommend reading "Something Borrowed".  It is a good, light weekend read and is quite funny at some parts! 

photo source: http://en.wikipedia.org/

Mark 11:24 25  I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours.  But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too.

be curious, not judgemental

photo source:  http://weheartit.com/entry/14351776

Walt Whitman said it best, "Be curious, not judgmental", but let's be honest, we all judge.  I know I do.  I judge people at work, people at the grocery store, and I hate to say it, even my family and friends.  Why do we judge others?  I think it is because we don't understand other's feelings or actions.  We never stop to think maybe they don't understand ours.  Accepting other people for who they are, why is that so complicated?

Judgement comes at you from every aspect of your life, but especially when you are dating someone.  Everyone has that mental checklist in their head.  The checklist that determines if your significant other passes the test and gets to be "the one".  Of course, I have the checklist.  However, looking back at the people I have fallen head over heels in love with, they stray far from my checklist.  So the questions is:  Do you have to meet certain requirements to be "the one" or when you fall in love does the checklist become void?  Furthermore, is it realistic to assume there is someone out there that meets every single one of your requirements?  After much thought and consideration,  I have determined there is no perfect match, because no two people are exactly the same.  How boring would that realtionship be with two people that think exactly the same on every single thing and never ever get in an argument....that just doesn't exist.

In a relationship judgement can be harsh.  If a stranger assumes something about you, who cares! They don't know you, but it is a little different when your partner judges your actions and feelings. Then it is personal.  Everyone likes to be right, no one likes to wrong.  So when should you compromise?  How much critisism can you give your partner before it is just plain mean?

I know I have been judged in previous relationships and it doesn't feel good, but, on a postive note, at least you know where you stand. Here is my laundry list of characteristics that prevent me from being "the one":
you're too quiet
you're too calm
you're not reassuring enough
you're not affectionate enough
you don't go out enough
you're uppity
you go to the wrong church
 you believe the wrong things
you don't wear the right clothes
you're too trendy
you're inappropriate
you flirt too much
you're too liberal
you're selfish
you're indecisive, and, yes, the list could go on and on....

Geez....when you write them all down like that, I really do sound like a winning catch, don't I? ;)

Relationships are not "rainbows and butterflies" they are hard work.  There comes a time when the honeymoon period is over, the rose colored glasses are off and the realization is made there are differences.  Should we try to make it work or go our separate ways?  The decision is made to move forward and then the compromising begins. 

Women are so easily persuaded to compromise all in the name of "love", so eager to please their mate.  If he doesn't like that outfit I just won't wear it, no big deal.  He doesn't like it when I talk to him, I just won't do it.  I mean I love him.  He is the only one I want to talk to anyways.  I am not that affectionate, but he is insecure so I need to make sure I show him how much I love him.  Now hold on a second before we jump to the conclusion "all men are pigs", let's think about.  Do men (and I will clarify most men) ever ask you to change?  Looking back at previous realtionships my ex-boyfriends never asked me to change, I did all this changing and compromising on my own accord, all by myself!  Yes, I am a big girl :)  Women just have this fairytale in their head.  If you love someone you should be willing to work on your relationship and then he will see how hard you're trying, and fall more deeply and madly in love with you.  As we all know fairytales are for children not "big girls" (though I think the majority of women have yet to realize this)

You can compromise your wardrobe, your personality, your beliefs, but that does not guarantee acceptance.  The moral of this story is sometimes you are just never "adequate" and I have to say inadequacy is up there for the worst feeling ever.  The truth is somtimes you just aren't enough for someone, you will never meet their requirements, and there is not enough compromising in the whole entire world that will change that simple fact.  Thought I would end with some words for thought....

photo source: http://weheartit.com/entry/21305883

Proverbs 10:12  Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.

Always a good time for Otis

I heard some Otis Redding on the way home today.  One of my favorite songs ever.  If you don't like this song there must be something wrong with you.....seriously?!

I have been reading a lot from Psalms lately.  I read this verse last night, powerful verse! 

Psalm 40:1-2 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.  He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.



Out to the Picture Show

I went to the movies last weekend, something I haven't done in a while.  I forgot how much I liked it.  I also forgot how expensive it was!  $10.25 is a little ridiculous, but I guess it is no different than spending the money on a couple of drinks at the bar.  We went to go see Safehouse.  I didn't know much about the movie other than it had Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington in it.  Little did I know it would be non-stop action, if it wasn't a car crash it was a shoot out.  Would not have been my first choice, but a good movie overall AND Lord have mercy Ryan Reynolds is a good looking man!! So, it was not difficult looking at him for a couple of hours!  Thought I would provide everyone with a visual. ;)

 

Psalm 37:7  Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. 

2 hearts beat like 4 dancing feet....

I must admit that I didn't blog too much last week, so if you do follow my blog...sorry!  I really wasn't busy, just nothing to say.  Yet again it is Monday...ugh!  I did not get a darn thing accomplished today at work and I really needed to!  Oh well, always tomorrow. ;)

I had a pretty enjoyable weekend even though nothing significant really happened.  However, I did spend all afternoon yesterday cleaning.  My house was a disaster and I think every piece of clothing I own was dirty. (and I have a lot of clothes, so you can imagine)  I was so glad when I finally got that out of the way! 

I was really tired today because I stayed up way past my bedtime last night.  Saturday I saw that the David Mayfield Parade was playing at Bottletree Sunday night.  I have seen them a couple of times before because they opened for the Avett Brothers and I really enjoyed their set, so I rounded up my brother and another friend to go.  I had never been to the Bottletree before, so I was anxious to see what it was all about.  The Bottletree has the reputation for being a wanna-be hippie hangout.  Wanna-be hippies are the absolute worst.  If you don't know how to spot one I will tell you.  They almost always listen to Widespread Panic, have an Obama sticker on their Subaru (even though they know next to nothing about politics), refer to concerts as "shows", frequent music festivals, and whole heartedly support the legalization of marijuana.  I have never understood this crowd.  They try so hard to preach "one love" and rebel against conformity, but in all actuality they are conforming...just in a different way.  Whether it is a Rolex watch or a hemp bracelet, whether it is driving a Subaru or a Range Rover, you are still conforming...you are still trying to fit in!  So the moral of the story is just be yourself and don't support Obama because you think it is "cool" (and I emphasize the latter.....)  If you haven't seen the Southpark episode that makes fun of hippies it is pretty spot on.  Click the link below to hear about the "the college know it all hippie"  It is hilarious!

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154822/college-know-it-all-hippies

OK....off my soap box.  The Bottletree is in the Avondale neighborhood, but it seemed like the middle of nowhere.  It turned out to be a pretty cool bar and it wasn't too crowded because it was a Sunday night and the Oscars were also on last night.  Plus they had Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) tall boys! :)  The decor was really eclectic and they had a really unique covered patio.  I found some pictures:

photo source: http://blog.al.com/mcolurso/2007/10/dont_be_intimidated_bottletree.html

The patio... it was nowhere near this crowded when we were there. 

photo source:  http://bhamterminal.com/blog/

Best shot I could find of the stage.  As you can see it is a pretty small venue, just read that it has a 75 people capacity.  photo source: http://rvanews.com/features/no-bs-brass-birmingham-or-bust-part-2/28651

After reading up on the Bottletree they also serve food, including a Sunday brunch.  Click here to see their full menu.  Overall, a good small venue for music.  I would definitely go back.

David Mayfield Parade put on a great show! David is a big ham and cracks jokes throughout his set.  He also gets close and personal with his audience.  He actually serenaded my brother on his knees when he ventured into the audience.  He also sang the last song in the middle of the audience sitting Indian style! If you ever get a chance to see him I would definitely recommend it.  My favorite song they sang last night was "Breath of Love".  I actually posted it on my facebook page last week, before I even knew I was going to see him last night.  Enjoy!

love this lyric from this song :)

"...if I could be anything I'd be hers....I'm sweet on her I suppose..."

Starburst Jelly Beans = Crack

I don't really like candy, but these are my new addiction.  With Easter fast approaching I started to crave jelly beans.  Last week while at Walgreens I purchased a whole bag (not a snack size bag) of Starburst jelly beans and proceeded to eat the whole bag.  I am planning on stocking up this weekend becuase I have a feeling these jelly beans might be seasonal.  Buy a bag (or several) and you will become addicted.

photo source:  http://www.justmisc.com/

2 Timothy 1:7  For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

My Favorite Things: Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

In honor of Mardi Gras lots of people I work with brought goodies to work today.  Of course, being single I have a limited pantry and little motivation to cook.  However, I woke up earlier than usual today, so I decided to run by Krispy Kreme and contribute a dozen doughnuts, because let's be honest who doesn't like Krispy Kreme doughnuts?  I love doughnuts in all forms, but Krispy Kreme are the absolute best, no contest.

photo source:  http://www.shining2save.com/

The original Krispy Kreme opened in North Carolina in 1937 and they have been making the best doughnuts ever since.  I like them because they remind me more of a beignet.  They are so light and fluffy, not hard and cakey like some doughnuts.  Plus, they are always perfectly glazed.  I went in the store this morning and saw them coming through the conveyor belt hot and freshly glazed....hmmmmm.  I could never work there!  I would at least a dozen doughnuts a day.  The original glazed doughnut has about 200 calories according to Krsipy Kreme and let me tell you it is worth every single calorie!  So, if you are on a diet let this be your cheat!  Look for the "Hot Now" sign and pull in...you won't regret it ;)

photo source:  http://gracefullysaving.com

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Brakes and Babies

Why are Mondays so exhausting, even if you don't do anything the prior weekend?  Plus, today it was worse knowing that there were lots of people that were getting to sleep in because it was President's Day.  However, it only took me 20 minutes to get to work this morning! :) (which is never the case)  I found this President's Day post on Pinterest and had to share; I literally laughed out loud:

I headed back to Haleyville, my hometown, last weekend to make the rounds and attend one of my best friend's baby shower.  I also got to meet Woody, a blonde cocker spaniel that came upon my parents' house several weeks ago.  My Daddy, having a soft spot for dogs, has taken a liking to him already, naming him Woody after he asked aournd and couldn't find the owner.  He keeps saying he is trying to find a "a home" for him, but I think Woody found a home already. ;)  He was absolutely adorable and I would have taken him home myself if I had a bigger backyard.  I wish I would have taken a picture of him!

Saturday  morning I finally got my brakes fixed in Haleyville.  Good decision on my part to return home for new brakes, I saved over $200!  Whoever quoted me that ridiulous price a couple of weeks ago in Birmingham ought to be ashamed!  Taking advantage of a young, naive, (ok, maybe just naive) girl!  However, I did have to hear my Daddy complain about how I waited too long and should have had them checked earlier....you know what they say "Father knows best".  In my case, Father ALWAYS knows best, he is NEVER wrong ;)

One of my best friends had her baby shower Saturday afternoon and it was so good to see all my old friends.  It is so weird to see your friends with pregnant bellies.  I remember as a child you have in your head how it will feel to be an adult, but you never feel like an "adult".  I still feel like we are not old enough to have babies!  I feel like we should be riding back roads in used cars and asking our parents' permission to stay out later than our curfew. 

I think the baby shower went well and my friend got lots of precious things for her sweet baby girl.  One of my other friends had a baby girl in December and we went to see her Saturday night after the shower.  She was adorable! After baby girl went to sleep, we sat out on her screen porch and caught up on everything!  There is nothing like my friends from back home.  These girls have been with me from kindergarten and we have all somehow managed to stay friends.  We have been through grammar school, high school, college, marriages, and now babies.  We all know exactly what the other one is thinking and they are part of the few people in this world that can make me laugh until my side hurts.  The kind of laughing, where you are laughing so hard you are not making a sound and can't catch your breath.  I can''t remember the last time I laughed so hard!

Isn't she the cutest pregnant person and aren't my friends gorgeous?!

I also have to mention my belated Valentine's Day present from my Daddy.  It should be noted emphasis was never placed on Valentine's Day when I was growing up.  My mother taught kindergarten in a rural school and always stressed to my brother  and I, "some children never get anything"!  So needless to say me and my brother never received balloons, stuffed animals, or flowers.  When I got home, my mother brought out a big Bed Bath and Beyond bag with a "Valentine's gift" that my Daddy picked out.  It was a panda Pillow Pet.  If you are not familiar with Pillow Pets, as you probably guessed it is a combination of a pillow and a stuffed animal.  Of course, if you knew my father you would understand why he got me this.  His sense of humor is dry to say the least.  Ironic, I finally got a stuffed animal 20 years later!  So I named the panda Pillow Pet Polly and Lucy has really enjoyed it.  She checks on the Pillow Pet sporadically, making sure it is not real.  Here is my new Pillow Pet:

Happy President's Day everyone!  Hope you got the day off to relax!

Matthew 21:22   If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

How fickle my heart....

Mumford and Sons let Lucy be in a video....psych!  The dog does look just like her though.  Awesome version of "Awake my Soul" and plus I love the lyrics to this song......"and now my heart stumbles on things I don't know, my weakness I feel I must finally show..."



Ephesians 4:26-27
In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold.

Expect the Unexpected

It is bound to happen.  You run in to people unexpectedly, particularly when you look horrible.  Then there is no way you can avoid them and you have to make small talk for fifteen minutes.  If there is one thing I can't stand it is small talk.

Then there are those "run-ins" that you can't avoid, that will happen the moment you least expect it.  The family member that you haven't talked to in months for whatever reason, the person that used to be your best friend until you grew apart, or the worst is the person that used to be in love with you.  This happened to me recently, I saw my ex-boyfriend out a restaurant.  No words were spoken.  The person who used to be my best friend, the first person I called when anything happened, and now it is like you are strangers.  What is the time frame?  How long will you have to wait before that moment isn't the most awkward moment in the whole entire world?  Yes, I know I am being over dramatic ;)

This is how the previous mentioned situation feels.  It feels like someone punches you in the stomach, you're short of breath, your heart beats out of your chest, your blood pressure rises, and your hands start to shake.  My friend, who witnessed my come apart, actually pointed out she could tell I was anxious because my chest had broken out in hives, which only happens when I am anxious or angry.  As you can tell I really handled the situation well. :) Then what stings even more, is you are absolutely sure that he did not feel this way at all.  This mishap probably fell under the category of "minor inconvenience" for him.

OK, truthfully, what did I want to do?  I wanted to go over and hug him.  I wanted to ask him how he was, ask him what he had been doing, I wanted to make sure he was happy.  I just wanted to talk to him, but I didn't.  I sat there like I was glued to my seat and avoided him the entire night until I turned around and he was gone.  I didn't have to see him anymore.  His face will now only be confined to the images I keep in my head, that can't seem to leave, even though I try every day to erase them.

What do you do?  You get up, leave, and pray these images, these thoughts will leave your head, and not dominate your thoughts.  I guess that's all you can do.

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Bitter Betty

Today is the day society chose to force people to tell their loved ones how much they care for them.  My Valentine greeted me when I got home with the same vigor she always greets me with.  Here is a picture of my Valentine:

I must say she is not as cute as previous Valentines (I do prefer the 2 legged kind), but she is pretty darn cute and loves me a whole bunch.  I'll take what I can get.  Of course, Lucy didn't know it was Valentine's Day, she shows me how much she loves me every day, regardless of the date.  You know people could learn a lot from dogs. Why does there have to be a day to tell the ones you love how much you care for them.  Shouldn't that be every day?

I know what you are thinking...the single girl is writing a jaded post about Valentine's Day.  However, I am proud to say I have the same feelings about Valentine's regardless of my relationship status, thank you very much!  It would be my least favorite holiday, but I don't even recognize it as a "real holiday", so the honor still is reserved to New Year's Eve/Day.

However, on the same note I did have three people call me bitter last week.  One of my good friends even called from Montgomery after reading a blog post to tell me I was much too young to be bitter.  I was unaware you had to reach a certain age to be allowed to feel bitter and jaded?  I am pretty good at it, so I hope I meet the age requirement soon! :) Now, do I want to be bitter, jaded, cynical?  No, of course not!  Those are qualities that are really never presented in a positive light.  I mean think about it...you have never heard someone say "Oh, she is so bitter." and think it was a compliment.  Do I think I am these qualities?  OK, yes, the before mentioned qualities pretty accurately describe my outlook here lately.

Why am I this way?  I think it is a defense mechanism.  Instead of being positive and happy.  I am sarcastic and bitter.  I build walls where I won't get hurt.  I make jokes about disappointments, so people will think I am handling things well, where they won't see I am struggling.  I never allow myself to be completely happy.  If I catch myself too happy, I immediately start to worry when the other shoe will drop.  I'll let Charlie Brown explain:

I once heard a Paula Deen quote: "You know what they say about southern women: We like to keep our hair-dos high and our expectations low, so we ain't never disappointed!"  I agree Paula, I like to think the worst will happen and then if the end result is different, it is a welcome surprise!  I try to see the glass full, but if I am honest with myself it is half full....oh, OK, almost empty.  Particularly regarding relationships, if I fall head over heels in love, in the back of my mind there is a little voice that always says, "He's doesn't love you as much.  He's gonna change his mind!  He's going to find something wrong with you, just wait and see!"  Then the story plays out and he isn't my prince charming, he did find something wrong. 

I must admit I am somewhat ready for my intution to be wrong and say take that insecurity, he does love me just as much, just exactly the way I am...SO THERE!  So in honor of heart day I am going to try to initiate a new philosophy in my life: "Ignorance is bliss.".  I think I will start assuming the best until proven otherwise.  Now I would never want to be labeled with the title "ignorant", but if it is blissful, why not?  I just looked up the definition of bliss: perfect happiness, great joy. What a great word, yes, "blissful" is my new aspiration.  Now,this won't happen overnight, so don't expect all my posts from here forward to be butterflies and rainbows. ;)

I have to give a shout out to one of my besties, who when I went to eat mexican with her last night brought me a rose and chocolate.  I might not have a tall, handsome man like I did last year, but I've got some pretty kick ass friends! So here's to love in all it forms (family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, children, pets) and Happy Heart Day from this bitter woman! :)

Psalm 14:15
From his throne he observes all who live on earth.  He made their hearts so he understands everything they do.

Too much birthday fun....

Last weekend turned out to be a long weekend for me, due to an impromptu 30th birthday party Thursday night for my good friend's 30th.  (If you are reading this and work with me, keep it on the down low! :) )This birthday celebration led to a sick day and a horrendous headache on Friday.  After several rounds of Advil and a long nap, the celebration conitnued on Friday night, which included a night of dancing, which hardly ever happens for this girl.  However, it turned out to be a fun night and I think my friend had a good birthday, which is all that matters!  The celebration reminded me my 30th is right around the corner. (eeek!)

Saturday the temperature dropped drastically and it finally felt like winter.  The rest of the weekend comsisted of naps, movies, church, and an afternoon at the dog park with Lucy.  If you have a dog(s) and live in Birmingham you have to take your pet to the Loch Haven Dog Park.  It has two fenced areas, one for small dogs and one for large dogs.  The dog park also has nice walking trails, a big open field ( I think used for soccer), and a creek that runs along side the park.  The park is located in a subdivision on a pretty slow street, so there is no need to worry about the chance of your dog running in the street.  I take Lucy there often and she loves it, particularly the creek.  There is also usually mud puddles in the fenced-in areas that Lucy takes full advantage.  I must say most don't let their dogs get in the puddles, which I don't understand.  I have a 65 lb. dog , she is gonna get dirty, mud puddles or not.  Plus, she stays in my townhouse backyard all week, so on the weekend if she wants to get in a puddle, she can get in as many as she wants!  The park is located several minutes off Lorna Road.  I found a picture of the park, courtesy of http://www.hooveral.org/.

A golden (not mine) enjoying the park.  photo source:  www.bringfido.com

A puppy enjoying the creek.  photo source:  www.bringfido.com

Psalm 32:8

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.

My Favorite Things: Hobo Wallets

I have had my Hobo wallet for almost 6 years.  I always wanted one when I was in college, but never could afford the price tag.  They are pricey ($90 -$130), but since I have carried it for 6 years I think it has been well  worth it.  Here is my wallet, the Rachel:



Hobo makes a ton of cute wallets! Here are some of my favorites. ( All images were taken from the webisite:  http://www.hobobags.com/.)

Clio Wallet:

Sadie Wallet:

Tegan-Vintage Wallet:

Sable Wristlet:

Robin Compact Wallet:

They also have really cute purses!  Here are some of my favorites:

Cinderbox Bag:

Arabella Bag:

Drew Bag:

Ignite Bag:

Del Norte Bag:

James 5:15 

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.

This Should be Your Playlist: Sara Bareilles

Just ran and got dinner and on the way home was listening to Sara Bareilles.  (Yes, exciting Saturday night, fast food and movies!)  She is one of my favorite singers and an awesome songwriter.  She had a super popular song, "Love Song", several years back.  You would know if you heard it...."I'm not gonna write you a love song...." anyways it had a real catchy chorus.  However, just like most songs the popular ones they play on the radio are never the best.  She has 2 albums "Little Voice" and "Kaleidoscope Heart", so check them out.  My favorite song she sings is "Gravity".  I absolutely love this song!

"Set me free, leave me be, I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

here I am and I stand, so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be......"

Another one of my favorites "King of Anything":

10 Things Not to Say to a Single Woman

Yes, I am a single woman in the South, yet again, and I must say it still surprises me the things people say, so I thought I would clue in the public on what not to say to single women.  Trust me every single woman finds these things annoying and some are just down right rude!

1. "I don't envy you."  Oh, well I am glad you have found your prince charming!  This statement is like a slap in the face.  Most of the time I have to bite my tongue to say "I don't envy you either.  I mean with that husband that never helps and those annoying kids", but see I can't say that because that would be rude! 
2. "Why aren't you dating anybody?"  The truthful answer is "I don't know."  The answer I want to give is:  "I am an ugly bitch, didn't you hear?"  Older women usually ask this question and when you say "No" their usually response is "I don't know why not."  Me either, good point!
3. "You're so lucky you get to do whatever you want!"  Yeah, yeah, it sure is loads of fun doing whatever I want all the time...by myself.
4. "Don't you worry it will happen for you."  This one particularly irritates me, like my life will not be complete until I marry, like I must be miserable all by my lonesome.  You know some people never marry and they are happy....I know shocking!
5. "I just wanted to have my kids young."  Oh, you did?  I wanted to wait until I was at least 40.  That was the ideal picture in my head. People don't just choose when they have kids, unless you're the octo-mom.  I am glad you had the option to have your kids early, I didn't.
6. "You must be having the best time dating!"  I think coupled off people just forget.  Dating is by no means fun.  It is awkward and definitely not fun, that is if you get asked out which rarely happens for me.
7. "You're just so independent!"  Oh, yes, I like to do everything by myself! I have put my foot down swearing off men forever.  I am an independent woman...I don't need a man! (catch my sarcasm?)
8. "Do you just not want to get married?"  Yes, dumb ass, I want to get married.  I just want to marry the right person.  You're lucky you conveniently found your match at the "appropriate time" to avoid stupid questioning like this, but I didn't.
9. "You know you have to compromise, you can't get exactly what you want."  Which translates into: Just give into what the man wants, that way you can get married, and fit into the mold society has set for us.
10. "You're too picky!"  Yes, well that may be this case.  However, the people that I like don't like me and the people that like me I don't like.  Go figure. 

Plus, I am knocking on 30's door.  I figure at this point, I might as well hold out for the perfect match or the closest it can get.  I know I can make it by myself and I hate to tell all the married folks...it really isn't as bad as you think!

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Damn you Paula Deen...

After looking at my Pinterest tonight I realized that, yes, I do have the ingredients to make Paula Deen's Gooey Butter Cake.  Yes, of course, I proceeded to make it and, no, there is no need for a single person to make a butter cake.  I looked up the recipe on her website and realized Paula's son, Bobby, has come up wiith a lighter version of the original recipe. (I guess since Mama Deen has diabetes now.)  After closer inspection I decided if I was going to eat butter cake I might as well go all out.  I grew up eating these, but my Mama always called them cream cheese brownies.  This recipe is defintley something you only eat a couple of times a year. (It calls for 2 sticks of butter and lots of powdered sugar!)

photo source:  http://tidymom.net/

It is a pretty simple recipe and easy to make!  The ingredients are as follows

Cake:
1 18 1/4-ounce package yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 tablespoons butter, melted
1 16-ounce box powdered sugar

Click here for the complete recipe from Ms. Deen's website.  Trust me you will gain extra pounds just eating a couple, but it is definitely worth it.  Enjoy! 

Psalm 37:4  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.