10 Things Every Yankee Should Know Before Moving to the South

1. We do assume you are from "The North" if you grew up anywhere outside the southeastern United States.  It doesn't matter if you are from Michigan or New York you will be lumped with the rest of the Yankees in the territory called "The North". 
2. You can pretty much say anything about someone and just add "bless their heart" and you are still being nice.  And being nice is treasured in the South.  We don't like when people are blunt, brash, or brazen.  We would rather you skirt the topic or tell white lies to avoid hurt feelings.  I mean you catch more bees with honey, right?  If you are the aforementioned characteristics we will call you ugly names (i.e., bitch) behind your back most likely, but we will add he/she is probably just that way because they grew up in "The North".
3. We call everyone "ma'am" and "sir".  It's not to offend you and make you feel old.  It's polite and respectful.  Therefore, don't tell southern children not to call you these names or you will get eyes from their mother. 
4. You need to pick a team.  We don't care if you don't like football.  We do.  Men and women alike count down the days till College GameDay plays that first Saturday.  You are going to pick an SEC team and then be prepared to discuss what your team did on Mondays at the office.  And don't you dare schedule an event (unless it is a football party) during a big conference game.  That is unless you don't want anyone to come and the people there to be constantly checking their phones for the score.  If you MUST have an event during football season please have a television with the game playing for everyone's viewing pleasure. 
5. If you are invited to a Thanksgiving dinner and asked to bring dressing, don't bring stuffing.  They are different.  The biggest difference being dressing is good and stuffing is not.
6. Please don't tell me my accent is "cute" and ask me to speak on cue.  And since we are talking about accents, don't assume my accent makes me stupid, backwoods, uneducated, or racist.  All people in the South are not racist bigots.  I know this might be a big surprise to some, but all the racist people in the country do not huddle in the southeastern United States; they are all over this country.  In fact there are probably more in NYC than in rural Alabama.
7. We like most things monogrammed.  So if you are asked to bring a gift to a shower or party if it is monogrammed you will most likely win brownie points.  
8. There are terms you need to learn and incorporate into your vocabulary.  The main one being y'all which refers to more than one person.  If you use terms like "you guys" we will call you out.  Another is "fixing to".  I will use it in a sentence, "I'm fixing to run to the grocery store."  It means an event that is about to occur in the immediate future.  Here are just a few colloquialisms you might hear around the South with explanations when necessary:
• Wild as a buck
• Mad as a wet hen
• Her crow is always the blackest (someone who brags)
• Lord have mercy (This one can be used in various situations.)
• That dog won't hunt (something that is bound to fail)
• Full as a tick
• Living high on the hog/Walking in high cotton (someone who is wealthy)
• I'm sweating like a whore in church
• He wouldn't hit a lick at a snake (someone who is lazy)
• Raked over the coals (chewed out)
• They got into a "fisticuffs" (physical fight)
• He's "sweet on you" (someone who has crush on someone)
• Rode hard and put up wet (someone who has had a hard life or just exhausted)
• That's about as useless as tits on a boar hog
• You can get glad in the pants you got mad in
• He doesn't have a pot to piss in
• I laid out all night (someone who partied hard)
• Give me sugar (kisses.)
• I had to go around my elbow to get to my thumb (The longest/hardest way to do a simple task.)
• Crazy as a pet coon
• I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays
• I've known you since you were "knee-high to a grasshopper"
• The devil must be beating his wife (It's raining while the sun is shining.)
• I am about to jerk a knot in your tail
• How's your mama and 'em?
9. There will be food that you might not eat in the "The North" because it is "bad for you".   The one thing about the South is we realize food is one of life's best pleasures.  We eat carbs without shame.  Cornbread, grits, and biscuits are staples.  We fry fish, chicken, even the chicken's livers, and bologna, which don't knock it till you try it.  We drink SWEET tea and Cokes.  Which reminds me we use Coke as a blanket term to refer to any kind of soft drink (i.e., Pepsi, Mt Dew, Dr. Pepper, etc.)  Don't worry we eat vegetables too, even though they might be slow cooked all day on the stove with ham and bacon.  Casseroles are also a staple and most women have a casserole case which is most likely monogrammed. 
10. Last, but not least, lots of people own guns down here, most for hunting purposes.  So don't tell responsible, hard-working citizens your views on stricter gun control, that is unless you want to get yourself into a hot mess.

For more information about the South watch the video below. :)