Another year has passed and I find myself single, once again, but yet I don't want to put my hands up and I don't feel liberated. Trust me being a single woman is not quite like a Beyonce song. I am 29 years old. I am 5'9", blonde-headed, thin, and college educated. I am speech therapist that works with special needs children. Do I sound like a bad catch? On paper I don't look too bad, but love seems to elude me constantly. Which leads me to the conclusion there must be something wrong with me.
In television and in movies single women live glamorous lives, thanks Carrie Bradshaw. I loved the movies, but you know you would have married Mr. Big 10 years ago if he would have asked. Of course I don't think that would have made for good television programming or 2 successful movies. Single in the south; however, is quite different than the elaborate lifestyle portrayed in Sex and the City. Good girls graduate from college and then the weddings begin, some to their college sweetheart or some to their high school sweetheart for that matter. Along with weddings come inquiring minds. "Are you dating anyone?" the dreaded question for any single woman, because no matter the answer you always seem to get a back handed compliment. If your response is "no", you get "Good for you! You get to do whatever you want whenever you want!" Like you have made a stand against marriage swearing off men forever! (which is obviously not the case) OR you can answer "yes" , which gets immediate follow up questions...."How long have you been together?", "What does he do?", "Do you think he is the ONE?" Because if he is the one that will lead to another wedding they can attend and another single woman they can harass. Oh, and it must be said these women asking these questions are always married and would probably last about a week coming home to an empty house with no one to discuss your day or kiss goodnight. Let me tell you doing "whatever you want whenever you want" is no fun when you are doing it by yourself.
Then at the end of the wedding they throw the bouquet. I must say whoever thought of that stupid tradition? I mean think about it. Let's gather all the single women together and throw a bouquet and maybe you can find a good husband like me and finally be happy. You stand there and it feels like the whole wedding party is wondering what is wrong with you...why can't she find a nice boy? Good question....you got the answer?
I want to meet a nice boy! I want to be Bridget Jones and find someone that loves me "just the way I am". With my new single status I know the question fast approaching "Why aren't you dating anybody?" In which my usual response is "I don't know", but what I really want to do is smile real big and respond "I am an ugly bitch, didn't you hear?" OR "I just got my heart ripped out of my chest and handed to me, but I'll try to hurry up and meet a "nice boy" Yet, the response I give is usually pretty accurate. I don't know why I'm not dating anybody, I don't know why my ex-boyfriend broke up with, I don't know why I don't have a ring on my left hand? I have met "nice boys" and I have fallen head over heels in love. I mean the kind of love that you just catch yourself smiling for no reason. I also have been extremely heartbroken to the point it made me physically ill. I just wonder will it ever stick with me? I always iin the back of my head just assumed I would get married and have children, but what if that isn't what I am supposed to be doing. The question that I always ask every new year's day "What am I supposed to be doing with my life?"
I thought I would start a blog, if for anything to preoccupy myself for a short period each day ;) So lets see what 2012 has in store for me.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties on him for He cares for you.
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