Is the "Modern Day Feminist" Beyonce?

I scroll through my Newsfeed and see Beyoncé gracing the cover of TIME magazine's 100 Most Influential People donning a swimsuit or lingerie, hard to tell.  TIME, really?! I am not saying she is not influential, obviously she is.  I just don't really think her influence warrants a cover.

People always report Beyoncé is a "modern day feminist"  My ass! (pardon my French)  Beyoncé is an entertainer that performs wearing scantily clad outfits.  Don't get me wrong.  She is an amazing singer and dancer, but her whole career is based on her image, largely her physical beauty.  And she is beautiful, in fact a very small percentage of the population is as beautiful as she.  No one values Beyoncé for her personality, her good deeds, her grace, her intelligence. She is selling her sexuality and she is doing it willingly.  Her new album has multiple songs depicting graphic sexual scenarios.  She is preaching a message: It is perfectly fine to objectify yourself, as long as you are the one doing it.

Beyoncé did you know you are teaching young girls that physical beauty is of the upmost importance?  Did you know your lyrics are teaching young girls that their value should be placed on what they can do sexually for a man?  I am sure your little girl will be so proud to know about your sexual escapades with her father when she gets old enough to listen to your "highly acclaimed" album as you specifically describe "surfboading" Jay-Z. 

If you have you not heard the songs that they play on the radio constantly, let me give you a sampling of some lyrics:

Partition:

We ain't even gonna make it to this club
Now my mascara runnin', red lipstick smudged
Oh he so horny, yeah he want to f***
He popped all my buttons and he ripped my blouse
He Monica Lewinski'd all on my gown

Take all of me
I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like
The kinda girl you like, girl you like
Take all of me

Yep, she is influencing people, but she is about as feminist as Miley Cyrus in my book.  When did confidence in women become interchangeable with sexually open? America when did we decide to applaud young, naïve girls for promoting sexuality?  When did it become perfectly fine to call these women feminists?  I don't blame Beyoncé or Miley Cyrus for doing what they do. They know sex sells and they are selling it to the fullest extent.  It's American pop culture's fault, and America really needs some work, DESPERATELY. 

So what does the word "feminism" mean?  According to Webster, "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes"  Therefore, these women promoting sexual objectification under the umbrella of "feminism" are in fact pulling us backwards.  Reminding men that we have very little to offer other than "pretty faces", boobs, and sexual gratification.

So Beyoncé I will not "bow down" to you as you so elegantly stated in the your song "Bow Down Bitches", instead I will choose to celebrate women who are educated (whether formally or self-taught), women that are good, kind, and put others before themselves.  Women that are humble.  Women that are compassionate.  Women that I see in my every day life that work hard to better themselves and their families even when all the odds are stacked against them.  Women that are beautiful on the inside and out. 

I don't have a daughter, but if I ever do  I want her value to be placed on her character, intelligence, and how she treats others.  So ironically enough Beyoncé you are hindering my future daughter and daughters across America from "running the world".

  

The Most Important Man in History Died Today

The most important man in history died for me today.  He died for you too.  A horrible death.  He was beaten beyond recognition, mocked, ridiculed, spat on, and made to carry a cross that later his body would be nailed to.  He hung on that cross dying for hours before his Heavenly Father took him home as he sighed his last words, "It is finished."  WOW.  I don't know another person on earth that loves me that much, and I am confident that I won't come across one either.  I am reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” We weren't made for this world.  This world full of hurt, pain, and suffering.  We were made for much more, but sin crept into all of our lives and continues to on a daily basis.  We lack compassion for others, we are thoughtless with our words, we are selfish, we don't think about our actions and how they affect anyone.  We crave personal comforts and happiness.  We close our eyes to things that don't line up with "our world", "our values".  Things we can't understand.  Thankfully, God never closes his eyes.  He sees the pain and suffering in this world.  I believe in God even when he is silent, because I "know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28)

Good Friday is when Jesus was crucified on the cross.  I am sure Jesus dreaded this day.  He knew his purpose and he knew what he had to do, but I am sure he didn't look forward to his purpose being fulfilled.  Can you blame him?  I weasel my way out of God's will a lot.  I make excuses for my behavior and promise to do better.  Thank goodness his mercies are new every morning! However, Jesus knew he had to die whereas we could be forgiven so we could spend eternity in Heaven.  We are not talking about being called to minister here; his purpose was to save all of mankind.  No weaseling out of that one.  And I am sure glad he didn't! Now I can stumble and fall, make mistakes, and I can receive God's mercy.  His mercies never end. 

Now I'm not necessarily promoting sinning all week long then asking for forgiveness on Sunday, and I don't think that's the message the Messiah taught either.  I reminded of a quote I read once, "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car." However, I think when you really accept Jesus into your heart, your actions, words, your overall demeanor toward your neighbor, the way you choose to live your life will change from within.  Sin becomes unattractive because you are now living with a different purpose.  If you feel the hole in your heart with Jesus, there is little room for greed, addiction, or material things.  Don't get me wrong I spend money on material things and sometimes have a drink on a Friday night too, but I realize these things are not why I am here on earth.  I am here to love others, to show kindness and compassion to others even if it is in small, insignificant ways.  I know God recognizes every detail of my life.  Like Mother Teresa quoted once, "God has not called me to be successful, he has called me to be faithful."  So that is what I decide to do every morning: I try to live my faith to the best of my ability.  I always felt like you didn't have to have to quote scripture to someone to spread the Good News, you can spread the Gospel in your everyday life through your actions and how you treat your neighbor.  Live your life like Christ, and remember what Jesus reminds us in Matthew, "Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." (Matt 25:45)

I hope everyone has a Happy Easter!  I hope between all the colorful Easter eggs, bunnies, and baskets filled with goodies we all remember the reason we celebrate this day. 
#NothingButTheBloodofJesus

       

Bohemian Rhapsody or the Gospel?

I read an article on al.com today about a traveling evangelist, Kerrigan Skellly, that appeared at UAB today to "spread the gospel".  According to the article, (which can be found here ) he stood outside the library, wearing a hat that said "Obey God", spewing his "good news."  Students didn't take too kindly to his ministry and began to serenade him with Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody to drown out his message. Good Lord, this is somewhat funny, but can't we all just get along?  However, there was a quote in the article that made me laugh out loud at his arrogance.  When one student noted "We are all sinners"; he replied "True Christians don't sin." He then indicated he was not a sinner anymore and that "he didn't sin everyday."  Really, dude?  Get it together; this is why people don't read the good book.  This isn't attracting people to church, calling people fornicators and telling them about "the filth in their hearts." These people, like Mr. Skelly, choose minimal parts of the Bible and use it for hate and miss all the consistent messages which if you have forgotten are love, compassion, kindness, humility, and generosity.

I am currently reading The Ragamuffin Gospel, and I actually thought about mailing it to Mr. Skelly since he seems to be the one who is lost.  Brennan Manning, the author of The Ragamuffin Gospel, speaks of what Jesus did for us in very direct terms because what he did for us is simple in context.  He died where we could live, and live abundantly.  However, as Mr. Manning points out we can't accept what he did for us.  We are ragamuffins beaten down, tired, and hopeless, and we think we have to earn our salvation ("obey God"). We crave rules and rituals to ensure we are choosing the good path, the path that will win us God's favor. What we don't realize is we already have won God's favor the second we came into relationship with him and nothing can change that.  Jesus has been waiting "with bated breath" for us to accept him as our personal saviour.

I sat in my office Monday reading on my lunch break a chapter in Mr. Manning's book, Freedom from Fear, and I needed to read that chapter that day.  It was like he knew my inadequacies, my fears, my insecurities, that passed through my head everyday.  He leads into the chapter with a good quote, "Assured of your salvation by the unique grace of our Lord Jesus Christ."  He later adds these words are "wonderful" and they are; aren't they?  But still many of us live in fear, I know I do.  We know God loves us unconditionally, but we can't move past our own fears.  He mentions all the "what if" questions we ask and worry about on a consistent basis:

"What am I going to do if I do not find a spouse, house, job, a friend?  What I am going to do if they fire me, if I get sick, if an accident happens, if I lose my friends, if my marriage doesn't work, if a war breaks out?....

Yes, some of the scenarios will probably never happen, but Mr. Manning notes when you start this line of questioning you've chosen to live in a house of fear.  However, if you choose faith Mr. Manning notes you can live in "a safe place right in the midst of our anxious world", you can be free from worry.  Sounds simple, but we continually choose to live in the world outside the safe house and are full of anxiety.  We try to numb the anxiety with alcohol, drugs, money, religion, relationships; anything to avoid our reality.  The reality is that we are trying to find our way home. We are locked out and just can't find our keys.  Fortunately, God has extra keys, and all people have to do is "ask and the door will be opened." Everyone can walk inside and choose freedom over fear.  It just sounds too easy, doesn't it?   Just to walk inside, just to accept it.  There must be rules to earn this type of freedom, but even the apostle Paul stated "no human being can be made upright by keeping the Law"
God craves your love not your good deeds.  In The Ragamuffin Gospel, it notes what Jesus would say to you every morning, the pep talk he would give you-

Has it crossed your mind that I am proud you freely chose Me, after I had chosen you, as your friend and Lord? Proud that, with all your warts and wrinkles you haven't given up? Proud that you believe in me enough to try again and again? 

So Mr. Skelly, apparently unbeknownst to you,  we are all sinners and we do have to try again everyday. And don't forget, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth" (Matt 5:5).  His arrogance is not quite how Jesus approached sinners.

"The gentleness of Jesus with sinners flowed from his ability to read their hearts.  Behind people's grumpiest poses and most puzzling defense mechanisms, behind their arrogance and airs, Jesus saw little children who hadn't been loved enough and who had ceased growing because someone had ceased believing in them. His extraordinary sensitivity caused Jesus to speak of the faithful as children, no matter how tall, rich, clever, and successful they might be." 

What if everyone approached people with the compassion Jesus showed others?  The man who ate with sinners and helped everyone he could regardless of who they were.  The man who preached of love and generosity.  This is the Jesus I know, this is my friend. So Mr. Skelly, you missed the mark with your poor evangelical tactics, now someone might not get to hear the real gospel, come to know the real Jesus.  And that's a shame......


Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Most of the quotes in this post were taken from The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. (#readit)

My Soapbox on Autism and Vaccinations

I recently read that Kristin Cavallari (the girl from Laguna Beach and The Hills) is choosing not to vaccinate her children.  She thinks it will cause her sons to have an autism spectrum disorder.  She quoted "one in 88 boys now have autism" and added that's a "scary statistic".  Here we go again, another Jenny McCarthy.  Just when we thought we had finally got her to zip it about vaccinations and "recovering autism".   Actually, Ms. Cavallari the CDC just released some new statistics this week and now it is 1 in every 68 children.  Are you really scared now?

You know what I think is scary?  Preventable diseases killing children because their parents are scared their children might "get autism".  I read a recent article from the Parents website (http://www.parents.com/blogs/to-the-max/2014/03/18/to-the-max/scary-vaccine-realities-you-cant-argue-with/?socsrc=pmmfb1403219 ) and it noted some true scary statistics.  6.6 million children under 5 die every year.  1.5 million of those children die from an infectious disease, a vaccine-preventable disease.  So what's an infectious disease? Pneumonia, diarrhea, whooping cough and measles (just to name a few), these are diseases that children are dying from in other areas of the world.  Polio is still disabling people, a disease that is unheard of in the good ole U.S. of A.  Why? Vaccinations.  The Parents article noted mothers in Mozambique rarely name their children until they get vaccinated, not wanting to become too attached until their child is here to stay, until they can get those shots.  The same shots people in America choose not to get.  I wonder what Kristin Cavallari or Jenny McCarthy would say to that African mother who would give anything in the world for modern medicine, medicine that would save her child's life.  Their truth is their children can die if they don't get these vaccinations.  This isn't a choice for them, but a privilege.  They just want a child that is alive and healthy.  How arrogant we all sit in America with our modern medicine and all our comforts! Infectious diseases are not a joke.  If you choose not to vaccinate your children, you are not only putting your child in danger, but you are putting your community in danger.  Infectious diseases that were previously eliminated can and will return if Americans choose to create a generation of children that are not vaccinated against these diseases because they were scared stiff that their child might "get autism."

I think I should note here I am speech pathologist that works at a pediatric diagnostic clinic.  I see children on a weekly basis that have delays, disorders, chromosomal abnormalities, and syndromes, some you have probably never heard of.  Over fifty percent of the children that come to our clinic are seeking an autism diagnosis.  What I have learned is most people have no idea what autism is.  Just because your child lines up cars and prefers to play alone, doesn't necessarily mean your child has autism.  Just because your child has a severe cognitive impairment that causes them to have repetitive behaviors doesn't mean your child has autism.  My favorite is I have chosen not to discipline my child; therefore, he displays lots of negative behaviors that surely must be caused by autism and not my lack of parenting.  Autism is a spectrum disorder so it presents differently in every child.  There is no special "test" that guarantees your child has autism.  There are only assessments that specifically look for certain characteristics of autism to determine if your child's difficulties meet the requirements of an autism spectrum disorder.  Therefore, I think I should add, I believe autism is incorrectly diagnosed often by people who are not qualified.

You probably can now say you know someone affected by autism.  But you probably knew someone already.  Think back to that person in high school or that person you work with or used to work with.  They might have been socially awkward or very shy and aloof.  Something was different about them, and you couldn't quite put your finger on it. They probably were on the spectrum, they were just never diagnosed.  Why?  Medical professionals didn't know what to call it back then.  There was not enough research.  Now autism is a hot topic so more money and resources are now available, now we can diagnose it better.  So are we really wondering why so many children are now being diagnosed? It's not vaccines and gluten for goodness sakes!  I think I should add here if you take your child to a pediatrician that connects autism to vaccinations, turn around exit and get another doctor because obviously he has no sense.

Let me end with a story about a doctor.  His name is Andrew Wakefield.  He published a paper (not a study), linking the MMR vaccine to autism in 1998.  It was a big deal so other doctors started to research this topic; however, they didn't quite find what Dr. Wakefield found.  In fact they couldn't find any link, leading to the conclusion there is no link.  His study was discredited; it was a fraud.  However, it was too late.  People had already stopped vaccinating their children.  This man put a bug in people's ears and they foolishly believed him.  A doctor who I might add is currently barred from practicing medicine. Please watch the video below for more information about this paper:

I can't tell you what to do with your children, but educate yourself.  I don't have any children, but I don't know what I would do with myself if my child suffered or possibly died from a disease that I could have possibly prevented with something as simple as a shot.  I see "autism" on a weekly basis, and it is not scary, trust me, it's not.  Infectious diseases are.  Vaccinate your children.

My Life Should Be a Sitcom

I thought everyone could use a smile this Wednesday......

I sit in a bar by myself waiting on my blind date to show up.  (Yes, in an effort to find my person I have resorted to blind dates.) So I sit at the bar waiting for my date to show up, drinking a beer, texting.  I think I should add here I'm not a big texter.  I typically mentally respond in my head and never actually take the time to respond via text.  I think I am just old enough to not be a part of the text message bonanza that has taken over all forms of verbal communication.  I was texting my friend joking about the dreaded "blind date situation", the awkwardness of it all.  Most blind dates are bearable, few are noteworthy.  At least, this has been my experience thus far.  As she noted some horrible blind dating experiences, she jokingly added her theory was to go out with anyone that was offering a free meal. At that same moment my date text to indicate he was almost there and trying to find a parking spot.  I responded to him then went back to my conversation with my friend, indicating I had actually set up the date because he never would get around to asking me out.  Let me be more specific, my text said something along the lines of:  "Lord, I set it up because he kept beating around the bush, so I'll probably have to pay " and then added another text, "To top it all off he's 3 years younger than me".  I also added a hasttag "#cougar"" and for good measure I added a winking or smiley face icon.  I can't remember because I have tried to block the ensuing fiasco from my mind.  After a few moments, I get a text from my date...."Huh?" Then it hits me...... I accidentally sent him those texts! I never switched back to my friend. Oh, sweet Jesus! Is this really happening?  Is this my life?

Complete  mortification sets in when I realize what I had done.  I think the term "I could die of embarrassment" was made for situations just like this.  Then I realize I have to leave; I can't face him, not after those texts.  Decision made; I'm leaving.  I fumbled around and sent a very apologetic text, explaining the situation along with my embarrassment.  Then I went to grab my purse to leave, I couldn't face this dude.  That was it.  However, just like my incredible luck I turn to leave and he is tapping me on the shoulder.  Mother F......you know what!  I'm stuck with this guy for at least an hour who probably thinks I'm a shallow bitch, just how I wanted to spend my Tuesday night.  AWESOME.  At this moment I realized my love life is slowly becoming a sitcom and all I could do was laugh......

I'm pretty sure I offended him, but I have to say he took it somewhat in stride even ending the meeting with, "We should do this again."  Dude, we're probably never gonna see each other again and, trust me, I completely understand why.  At least I have humor in my life, right?  Note to self, never text again while waiting on a blind date or better yet don't go on blind dates for a while.  The bright side is last night I met my quota for embarrassment and social awkwardness to last the rest of the year. Hopefully......

Happy Hump Day! :)