I must say she is not as cute as previous Valentines (I do prefer the 2 legged kind), but she is pretty darn cute and loves me a whole bunch. I'll take what I can get. Of course, Lucy didn't know it was Valentine's Day, she shows me how much she loves me every day, regardless of the date. You know people could learn a lot from dogs. Why does there have to be a day to tell the ones you love how much you care for them. Shouldn't that be every day?
I know what you are thinking...the single girl is writing a jaded post about Valentine's Day. However, I am proud to say I have the same feelings about Valentine's regardless of my relationship status, thank you very much! It would be my least favorite holiday, but I don't even recognize it as a "real holiday", so the honor still is reserved to New Year's Eve/Day.
However, on the same note I did have three people call me bitter last week. One of my good friends even called from Montgomery after reading a blog post to tell me I was much too young to be bitter. I was unaware you had to reach a certain age to be allowed to feel bitter and jaded? I am pretty good at it, so I hope I meet the age requirement soon! :) Now, do I want to be bitter, jaded, cynical? No, of course not! Those are qualities that are really never presented in a positive light. I mean think about it...you have never heard someone say "Oh, she is so bitter." and think it was a compliment. Do I think I am these qualities? OK, yes, the before mentioned qualities pretty accurately describe my outlook here lately.
Why am I this way? I think it is a defense mechanism. Instead of being positive and happy. I am sarcastic and bitter. I build walls where I won't get hurt. I make jokes about disappointments, so people will think I am handling things well, where they won't see I am struggling. I never allow myself to be completely happy. If I catch myself too happy, I immediately start to worry when the other shoe will drop. I'll let Charlie Brown explain:
I once heard a Paula Deen quote: "You know what they say about southern women: We like to keep our hair-dos high and our expectations low, so we ain't never disappointed!" I agree Paula, I like to think the worst will happen and then if the end result is different, it is a welcome surprise! I try to see the glass full, but if I am honest with myself it is half full....oh, OK, almost empty. Particularly regarding relationships, if I fall head over heels in love, in the back of my mind there is a little voice that always says, "He's doesn't love you as much. He's gonna change his mind! He's going to find something wrong with you, just wait and see!" Then the story plays out and he isn't my prince charming, he did find something wrong.
I must admit I am somewhat ready for my intution to be wrong and say take that insecurity, he does love me just as much, just exactly the way I am...SO THERE! So in honor of heart day I am going to try to initiate a new philosophy in my life: "Ignorance is bliss.". I think I will start assuming the best until proven otherwise. Now I would never want to be labeled with the title "ignorant", but if it is blissful, why not? I just looked up the definition of bliss: perfect happiness, great joy. What a great word, yes, "blissful" is my new aspiration. Now,this won't happen overnight, so don't expect all my posts from here forward to be butterflies and rainbows. ;)
I have to give a shout out to one of my besties, who when I went to eat mexican with her last night brought me a rose and chocolate. I might not have a tall, handsome man like I did last year, but I've got some pretty kick ass friends! So here's to love in all it forms (family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, children, pets) and Happy Heart Day from this bitter woman! :)
Psalm 14:15
From his throne he observes all who live on earth. He made their hearts so he understands everything they do.
I must admit I am somewhat ready for my intution to be wrong and say take that insecurity, he does love me just as much, just exactly the way I am...SO THERE! So in honor of heart day I am going to try to initiate a new philosophy in my life: "Ignorance is bliss.". I think I will start assuming the best until proven otherwise. Now I would never want to be labeled with the title "ignorant", but if it is blissful, why not? I just looked up the definition of bliss: perfect happiness, great joy. What a great word, yes, "blissful" is my new aspiration. Now,this won't happen overnight, so don't expect all my posts from here forward to be butterflies and rainbows. ;)
I have to give a shout out to one of my besties, who when I went to eat mexican with her last night brought me a rose and chocolate. I might not have a tall, handsome man like I did last year, but I've got some pretty kick ass friends! So here's to love in all it forms (family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, children, pets) and Happy Heart Day from this bitter woman! :)
Psalm 14:15
From his throne he observes all who live on earth. He made their hearts so he understands everything they do.
No comments:
Post a Comment