Story of a Girl in "Gridlock"

Tuesday, January 28, 2014 started off like any other day.  I was running late, as usual, and debated on whether to put my golden retriever, Lucy, out or leave her in the house.  I knew it was supposed to drop below freezing and lightly snow, and anticipated her water would freeze.  However, I decided to put her out as usual since she seems to actually enjoy the cold. I drove to work in downtown Birmingham, specifically 5 points with no difficulty.  After I had been at work a couple of hours I heard one of my coworkers excitedly yell, "It's snowing!" I sit in a windowless office so I was unaware and not phased.  I did notice when I walked across to our clinic to see my 1030 patient it was steadily coming down.  During my appointment I was informed that UAB and all UAB clinics would close at 1200 and it pretty much went downhill from there.

 Everyone in downtown Birmingham immediately tried to rush out the doors to go to the grocery store, pick up their child, or just get home safe before it got bad.  However, what nobody knew was it already was bad and all those people would soon form the worst traffic jam Birmingham has ever seen.  What followed next was absolute chaos.  I stayed at work until 300 and attempted to drive home, spending 45 minutes in the car going 5 blocks before I committed to sleeping in my office.  When I returned several people in my office remained and Southside Birmingham was a solid sheet of ice.  We figured this out when we walked to Fuego a couple of blocks away to get dinner.  You had to watch your step very precisely.  I can't believe not a single one of us fell.  I retreated to my office and was glad I had a warm spot to spend the night as I watched the live stream from Fox 6 News of hundreds of abandoned cars and people still stuck on I-65.  Every major road in Birmingham was in a "gridlock" as they kept insisting on calling it.  Basically a parking lot.  I worried about all those people stuck in their cars, walking to a safe place; and was grateful for the kindness of strangers that helped.  At 1100 I laid on my floor with a Boppy pillow I found in our clinic and my coat as I blanket.  I slept three hours and then since I was getting little to no rest just got up.  I spent the next few hours checking the weather, scanning Pinterest, checking James Spann's Facebook page, and watching American Psycho on my computer.  (#ihavetoreturnsomevideotapes) At 7 AM I decided to walk to the Waffle House with my friend to assess the situation. Ghost town and solid ice again, plus the Waffle House was closed.  I had kept a positive attitude up until this point, but slowly I became more and more down hearted regarding my chances of getting home.  Further, let me just clue in people what not to say to someone who is iced in at their place of employment.

• Traffic tracker lady if you tell me one more time to stay at home and enjoy my family I will come down to Fox 6 News and punch you in the face.  I am not at home; therefore, I can't enjoy anything,  especially anything at home.  In addition, I'm all about people helping people, but I want to see the traffic where I can get home, not the man at Home Depot in Pelham giving away free coffee.  Report the friggin' traffic.
• If you are from a state that experiences cold weather frequently I don't want to hear about how you are an expert at driving in icy conditions and that this isn't anything compared to (fill in cold weather state).
• Please don't tell me how lucky I am not to be stuck in my car.  I realize this and I'm thankful, but I'm also pissed and got three hours of sleep last night on my office floor. I want to go home.
• Please if you are on Facebook don't make fun of how Birmingham is in a gridlock because of 2 inches of snow.  It must be nice to drive home to your warm nice home and not have hundreds of 18-wheelers and abandoned cars blocking your way, not have to leave your babies at daycare or school because you just can't get to them.  Geez Louise, have a little compassion.
• Plus, while I am scanning Facebook to determine what roads I can take home without having a wreck or being stuck in traffic for hours on end, I noticed all these people, cute children, and families having "so much fun" on their "snow day". "Fun" not quite the word I would use for my "snow day".  Hey, at least someone enjoyed it because I sure didn't.
• This is unrelated, but you telling James Spann, Mickey Ferguson, or any other meteorologist how poorly they forecast the weather does not change the situation and some comments are just downright rude.  Everyone makes mistakes and I am sure they feel bad enough already without your two cents.

After watching the news and studying what roads could take me home, I concluded I-65 is impassable and I had to find another route.  I asked Facebook, I called people, and finally devised a route.  I had to get home for my own sanity and to check on my dog.  When I left my office, I had been confined to 5 points for 28 hours.  Not knowing what to expect, I formed a caravan with my friend and her husband and headed out.  If I got stuck I would get in the car with them and vice versa.  Southside was a breeze and the major Homewood roads were sanded.  As we went under I-65 to reach Green Springs it was at a stand still, a gridlock, a parking lot.  Abandoned cars were everywhere.  Some pulled off to the side of the road, some in the middle of the road, and some just where they ended when they slid across the road.  It was like the majority of people said, "Forget this" and hoofed it to a warm place.  We decided our best bet was 280 and it was.  We merged onto 280 from Lakeshore Drive with no difficulty and were met with tons of abandoned cars that we had to weave around.  There were people everywhere walking to retrieve their cars.  Some people hitched rides, some I had no idea where they were going.  Once past the obstacle course, traffic formed one line until the Summit and everyone surprisingly enough was courteous.  After the Summit it was smooth sailing and I quickly made it to Hoover.  However, the situation in Hoover didn't look any better.  People all over Birmingham were in dire straits last night.  Thankfully, most cars were empty, I just pray the people in them found a warm place to sleep last night.

I made it home after almost 3 hours in the car and Lucy appeared not phased by my absence.  So all in all everything worked out.  I am so thankful to be home tonight, but I am still praying for all those stuck somewhere, especially my buddies at UAB Sparks Clinics. Thanks to everyone that prayed for me today or called to check on me, even though I might have been grumpy.  When I logged in Facebook today to check the roads this was the first post I saw and I thought if was fitting for today.

"Safe? ... Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you."

-CS Lewis

Remember God is GOOD all the time! And a big Happy Birthday to my brother! He spent his birthday stuck in a Quality Inn in Anniston, but I hope it was happy anyways! Stay safe Birmingham!

10 Things My Golden Retriever Has Taught Me

Today was a beautiful day.  I decided to take Lucy (my golden retriever) for a walk when I got home from church.  She anxiously awaited the walk, as she held her head outside the car window anticipating where we were going.  As we began our stroll she immediately found the nearest mud puddle and proceeded to sit right in the middle of it, as she lapped up the water, quenching her thirst.  At that moment I envied her dog's life.  No worries.  No self-awareness. Complete happiness!  The rest of the walk I thought about what lessons she has taught me over the last five years she has spent with me.

1. Take every opportunity to show people you love how much you love them.  I am greeted everyday when I come home from work with a wagging tail.  Her excitement is over the top, as if she has been waiting all day for the second I walked through the door.  She doesn't let one day go by without showing me how much she has missed me.  Excitement usually fades with people but not with golden retrievers, not with Lucy.
2. A car ride is best enjoyed with the windows down.
3. Demand attention and affection.  Most people let others assume what they need or want.  Lucy asks for attention when she wants it.  Lucy will demand attention when she feels she needs it.  She barks as she is standing in front of me.  She paws at me while I'm laying on the couch.  She nudges her nose underneath my arm to encourage petting.  She whines at my bedside in the morning to insist I wake up.  She won't go unnoticed.  What if people just told others what they needed? How much easier would relationships be? Sometimes I wish I could be as bold as her when asking others for what I need.
4. Don't waste time on people that don't like you.  I read a quote once that said, "You are not made for everyone to like you" and what a true statement it is.  Lucy reads people quickly, if she senses you don't like her then she won't waste one second on you, instead she puts all of her energy into people that appreciate her, love her.  Only if people could do this....
5. Forgive quickly.  Lucy doesn't hold grudges if someone loses their temper with her. She might stay mad a couple of minutes.  After that, it's as if it never happened.  No bitterness, no hurt feelings.  She is just glad to be back in your good graces. 
6. Enjoy the little things.  A long walk. A mud puddle. Sunshine.  A car ride.  A visit from a loved one.  Day to day activities  bring Lucy immense happiness; she doesn't know anything else but the little things.  All the moments and seconds that make up the majority of your life, Lucy cherishes.  She doesn't let a moment slip away from her.
7. Eat well and often.  Don't be picky.  Lucy would eat all day, everyday if I would let her.  Her palate is vast.  She never misses an opportunity to eat and will wait patiently by your side while you are eating just for the chance to have one bite of your food.  Sometimes she gets so excited at the thought of eating she will jump up and down or spin in circles!
8. There is always enough minutes in the day for a nap. Don't feel bad if you take one.
9. Don't be afraid to get dirty.  The best things in life require you to sweat.  Lucy doesn't care to get down and dirty to have a little fun.
10. Love unconditionally.  Lucy loves hard.  She doesn't care if I'm pretty, educated, skinny, wealthy, funny; she just loves me because I am her person.  She has been the love of my life for the past five years.  She's mended my broken hearts and provided me cheer when I needed it the most.  She senses my sadness and always sits near, sometimes with her head in my lap as if to say, "Everything will be OK."

And everything usually is.

Life without Facebook, New Year's Resolution Part 1

I wake up and look at my phone.  I looked at it right before I went to bed, but I need to make sure nothing really important has happened in the past 6-8 hours I have been asleep.  I'm admitting it.  I am addicted to social media.  I love it.  It's almost like stalking someone, but they are willingly letting you do it.  However, social media is somewhat bittersweet.  I do get to see all my friends' life experiences even friends I haven't seen in years.  I see smiling babies and cute children dressed up in their Halloween costumes.  I get to see Christmas parties, engagement rings, and awesome vacations, all the happy moments in life.  It makes me happy to see all my Facebook "friends" happy.  However, then you get to see all the things you really don't care to see. Comments regarding social issues that are really just ridiculous.  People making vague status updates that are obviously self-serving.  And God forbid it is election time....  Sometimes I think I would be better off without Facebook.  Sometimes when I log off I feel depressed.  Wow, I won't ever get to go on a vacation like that; I won't ever make that much money.  She got engaged?! I thought for sure I would get married before her.  She is pregnant with her third child?! I don't even have one kid and I am 31 years old.  He is dating her now?! Really?!  Then I convince myself I will live an old maid spinster life.

The thing about it is, my life is pretty friggin' awesome, but the comparison factor is stealing my joy.  My boyfriend does not have a Facebook account.  We were discussing one of his ex-girlfriends and he had absolutely no idea what she was doing now.  This concept in modern day social media is unheard of, but I was actually jealous.  How awesome would that be to actually close a chapter in you life (e.g., a job, friendship, relationship, etc.) without social media constantly reminding you of your past.  After questioning him why he does not have an account his response was "If I wanted to talk to someone I would call them.  If I wanted to see someone I would."  The wheels started to turn.  Let's be honest most of my Facebook "friends" really aren't my friends.  I decided to deactivate my Facebook account for as long as I can in 2014.  I am not going to compare my life to someone else's happy moments; I am just going to BE HAPPY.  Secondly, and most importantly, this should free up lots of time, since I look at Facebook entirely too much.  I think I can do it, particularly since this is not a permanent decision AND I am not deleting my Instagram account. :)  So one more day of Facebook, before I click the deactivate button.  I am going to savor it! I hope everyone has a Happy New Year and good luck with all those resolutions!  

The Unthinkable

The tragic events that occurred on Friday left me heartbroken.  I just imagined all those parents coming home to a Christmas tree filled with presents that will never be opened, houses that Santa will not visit this year.  I work with children, and my mother was a kindergarten teacher, so the events that occurred are unfathomable to me. 

I am speech pathologist who evaluates children on a weekly basis to determine if they have speech and/or language impairments.  Every week at my job I am reminded of the realities that many children have to deal with on a daily basis.  I, myself, had a childhood out of a storybook.  My parents anxiously awaited my birth, and I was born into a home that had a Mama and a Daddy.  As a young child, I was held and adored.  I had a warm bed to sleep, never went hungry, and my clothes were never dirty.  I got bedtime stories, a cake on my birthday, and Santa always visited my house on Christmas.  I was taught what was right and what was wrong and, when I did wrong, they were consequences.  I had chores and responsibilities, not to receive an allowance, but because I did what my parents told me to do.  I learned from a very early age that hard work was necessary to succeed, and that I was only entitled to what I earned.  My parents paid for my undergraduate and graduate school education, on two teacher salaries, because they wanted me to have a better life than them.  What a lucky girl I am......

Many of the children I see on  a weekly basis at work have a very different childhood than mine.  More often than not, their birth was not planned or anticipated, and many would not know their father if they saw him.  They don't get bedtime stories, their birthdays go unnoticed, and Santa often forgets where they live.  They are no warm beds, toys to play with, or full stomachs, and often the only meals they get is the free meals they receive at school.  No one helps them with their homework, teaches them life lessons, or encourages them to follow their dreams.

The worst part about my job is when I realize a parent has brought their child to see me in hopes their child would be "delayed" enough to get a disability check.  It is very hard to sit across the table from a parent that would wish difficulties on their child.  However, my job is to help the child and not the parent. While I work with a child, my mind wanders. It wonders what they could do if their situation was different.  It wonders if they will get the help they need.  It wonders if they have a warm bed to sleep in.  It wonders if they will go to bed hungry. It wonders if they will graduate from high school.  The question that often comes to mind is, "Why did I get a Mama and a Daddy that loved me?"  I am  reminded on a daily basis how lucky I am, because there by the grace of God go I.  I could have easily been that little boy or little girl. 

My job would be even more difficult if I did not have strong faith.  I pray every time I pray that God watches over all the children I encounter and that they are safe and receiving the help they need to succeed in whatever their heart desires.

I  will never be able to understand the events that happened on Friday, and I pray that God provides those families that lost a loved one peace and comfort.  I am reminded of a verse that always occurs to me when something happens that I cannot understand....

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

I know that because God is good all the time, no matter what.

Should I "eat more chicken"?

Funny how a chicken sandwich franchise can get so many people fired up.  Now if people would react to other political issues with the same vigor!  I think the whole thing has turned into a big ole' mess and I think most people are missing the point of the argument.  It is not about whether or not you support gay marriage, it is about freedom of speech.  We live in America, the land of the free.  We can believe whatever we want and say whatever we want!  We are one lucky group of people, we Americans!  Now if we can just learn to be tolerant of others beliefs, that's the tricky part! 

I haven't followed the Chick-fil-A saga as some people have, but this is my take.  So the story goes, and forgive me for I am paraphrasing, someone asked the big wig at Chick-fil-A his view on gay marriage and he stated he believes in "traditional" marriage.  I personally didn't think this would be a shocker to anyone since Chick-fil-A is an openly Christian business, which closes their doors on Sunday where their employees can have the opportunity to worship, if they please.  Then the public uproar came...He can't believe that! He can't support that!  That's wrong! That's not what I believe!  People we live in America he can believe whatever he pleases!  If you don't agree with his beliefs and choose not to eat a Chick-fil-A, that is completely your choice, but goodness gracious just display some tolerance and shut-up about it already.  Particularly if you call yourself a "liberal".  If you want everyone to have "equal" rights than he should have the right, just like anybody else, to believe what he wants and to voice his opinion!  Some people preach equality until you disagree with their version of equality. 

I, for one, will continue to eat a Chick-fil-A and it has nothing to do with the owners beliefs on marriage, gay or otherwise.  The food is delicious and the customer service surpasses any fast food chain hands down.  The other day I waited approximately 2 minutes for a cup of coffee at the 5 points location and I had three different people apologize to me for my wait!  Some might not agree with the business on some political issues, but the corporation obviously knows how to hire hard workers and run a successful business.  It should be noted I would address the issues of cities banning Chick-fil-A's, if it wasn't so absolutely ridiculous.  I think most people understand that closing a successful business that employs many people and stimulates the economy because you don't agree with their opinion on a political issue, well it's just plain stupid.  I am sure that the people that are gainfully employed there would agree....

So my opinion (not that anyone cares):  I myself I'm a Christian.  I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, read the Bible,  and try to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God.  However, I am also a sinner, in fact, I sin everyday.  I thank God every time I pray that he sent his only son to die for my sins so I could receive his grace!  In the Bible, Jesus teaches one of the most important commandments is love your neighbor like you love yourself.  He also teaches he without sin cast the first stone. (which translates into nobody should throw stones!).  So I try not to judge, even though I do, I try not to.  I wake up everyday and try to be the best person I can be and hopefully everyone else does the same. 

I am reminded of a Ben Harper lyric, "Your choice is who you choose to be and if you're causing no harm you're alright with me"  We all are sinners, so don't judge people because they sin differently than you.  If people's actions are not causing harm then shut your mouth!  As we learn in kindergarten: "If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all."  Instead, smile, help others, give freely of your time, be thoughtful, work hard, show kindness, and pray.  Pray constantly about how you can be a better person and stop worrying about others.  Just be good to people!  What a wonderful way to worship God just by loving your neighbor!  God smiles when he sees good and I hope everyday people see good in me.  I wholeheartedly believe God notices every detail of my life.  I also believe as the verse says in James "Every good and perfect gift is from above."  So maybe one day someone will see good in me and connect it to Christianity.  Christians, in a whole,  are not the people on pedestals shaking their fingers in judgement.  Unfortunately, those "Christians" get the most media attention.  Christianity is not shaking your finger and passing judgement, instead it is holding your arms open, welcoming people that are different than you, helping others, showing kindness.  How quickly we forget!

The moral of the story is when I stand before God on my judgment day and I believe we all will be held accountable for our actions here on Earth, I don't want God to look at me and say "You judged others harshly and had hatred in your heart."  How ashamed I would be!  Which reminds me of one of my favorite verses from James:

"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?"  James 4:12

One happy girl...

No posts in a long time, but not to worry I still have stuff to say. :)  After work today I had to run to 280 for some errands.  I was standing in line at Starbucks, when I saw a couple out of the corner of my eye that was obviously in an argument.  She was mad and he was trying to dig his way out.  I wondered what the mistake was that was made, what caused the hurt feelings.  Then in my mind, I thought, which I think more frequently than not here recently, "I am glad I am single."  I got my tall iced coffee with room for cream and headed home to an empty house with the windows rolled down and a smile on my face.

Single people are often pitied.  "Oh, don't worry you will find someone."  These comments used to bother me, I mean really bother me.  Like my life wasn't important, significant because I wasn't coupled off, haven't reproduced.  Lets take a deeper look.  Yes, I do come home to an empty house.  However, once I am at home I do whatever I want.  If I am hungry I eat, If I want to take a nap I sleep, If I want to go out I go...I pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want.  Not a bad gig and certainly not worthy of pity.  Now I would be lying if I said I wouldn't love to have a companion, a best friend to share my life with me, but I am pretty darn happy all by my lonesome.  I haven't realized a lot during my short life here on earth, but I have realized that happiness is definitely not a destination.  It's a choice you make everyday when you get out of bed.  Just because you are alone, doesn't mean you're lonely.  Don't wait on events, people to make you happy. When I get married, when I have a baby, when I make more money....why not just be happy now?  My questioning in my head has changed here recently.  It used to be "I wonder if I will ever meet someone?"  Now it is "Do I want to get married?"

I am not very good at relationships, this is a fact, hence my single status.  I have tried to be one way and the other way, none of "my ways" seem to work.  Then the inevitable break up occurs, which flipping sucks.  Along with the hurt feelings, comes anger.  You are so angry that things didn't work out and you feel like a big fat failure.  You will tell anybody and everybody about how you were "done wrong".  Guilty as charged, just read my blog.  Another thing I am guilty of is doing some of the wrong.  There are no innocent parties in break ups, each party carries some of the blame.  You think back about the things you shouldn't have done, things you shouldn't have said.  Eventually, the anger fades and you can recall the good times, those times you smiled.  You realize that people fall out of love, change their minds, or just change into a person that doesn't think you are the one.  Sometimes you change your mind, sometimes you're not the one "changing".  There are lots of things in this life that you have no control over and how someone feels about you is one of them.  So someone thinks you are not the one, the world doesn't stop and "it is what it is".

Things eventually work out in the end, BUT sometimes in the back of my head I see myself in a rocking chair on a front porch and sitting next to me is a handsome man.  I see us sitting there every Sunday afternoon while the sun goes down and we never run out of things to say to one another.  Now that is a happy thought.....

If I got the winning numbers...

Apparently there was a big lottery last week.  Of course, living in Alabama we don't sell lottery tickets, so I didn't realize this until the day they were giving the money away.  Now I have to admit I don't understand the allure of gambling in any form.  I don't buy lottery tickets.  I could care less about going to casinos, well, besides the free drinks!  I would like to go to Las Vegas, but just to see what it is about, not to gamble.  I like to spend my money on other things.  However, I always say if you work hard you should spend your money on exactly what you want.  If gambling does it for you, gamble away!

I started thinking over the weekend....what if I won the lottery?  What would I do with the money?  I put a lot of thought into this and have come up with several things I would absolutely do. 

1. First things first, I would quit my job.  No more speech therapy for me!  I like my job, but would I stay if I won the lottery....no.  I think that calls for a HELL no!
2. I wouldn't take too much money to make me happy, so I would give the majority of it to charity.  I would keep enough to know that no one in my family would ever have to worry about money again.
3. I would take my Mama to Hawaii.
4. I would take my Daddy to Montana, in fact I might just buy my Daddy a house in Montana out in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles from anyone.  He would be happy as a pig in mud :)
5. I would buy three houses:
1. One home would be in rural Alabama, out in the middle of the woods.  It would be beside some form of water, whether it was a river or just a small creek.  It would have a front porch with a swing and multiple rocking chairs, so I could sit outside on a summer night with a cold beer and watch lightning bugs or in the early morning light with a cup of coffee.  It would have a big screen porch in the back with a bed, so I could sleep outside on cool nights.  I would learn to plant flowers in my yard and I would also have a vegetable garden, with every kind of vegetable imaginable.  I would work in my garden, read books, go fishing, work crossword puzzles, and enjoy all those little things that you don't have time to do when you are working.
2. I would buy a house on a remote Caribbean island, where I could walk outside and put my toes in the sand immediately.  I would lay out in the sun constantly and be golden brown.  I would get to wear swimsuits and flip flops every day!  I would buy a sailboat and learn how to sail.  I would eat lots and lots of seafood.  I would make friends with all the locals and buy a moped which would be my main form of transportation. 
3. Lastly, I would buy a house out west, right in the middle of a mountain range.  I would have a big window in my bedroom, so every morning I would wake up and see a gorgeous mountain.  My house would have a hot tub, in which I would sit outside in often with a glass of wine and bask in the beautiful scenery around me.  I would learn how to ski and drink hot chocolate on winter nights.
6. Of course, it goes without saying I would pay for all my family and friends to visit me at my homes anytime they pleased...I mean I am a millionaire now!  Plus, I wouldn't let anyone decorate my homes, I would spend all my new found free time doing it myself and love every minute of it!
7. I would travel....everywhere.  I would take several months to travel around Europe.  I would go on an African safari. ( I can't imagine seeing a lion, a giraffe, elephants just roaming around, not in a zoo, in their natural habitat.)  I would go to New Zealand.  I would go an Alaskan cruise. I would go to the Maldives,Tahiti, and Bora Bora.  I would stay in an igloo in Iceland.  I would go to Carnival in Brazil.  I would see the Pyramids in Egypt.  I mean I would go everywhere!!
8. I would get a kick-ass RV and take the road trip of all road trips and see every inch of America. 
9. I probably would buy a nice car, but to be honest I would be just as satisfied driving my Honda Accord. :)
10. Now that I am a millionaire and don't have to go to work, I would never wear make-up.   However, if I did have to go somewhere I would pay someone to come over and fix my hair and make-up.  I would never have to straighten this mane of hair or apply mascara again!  Plus, this person that came to my house would also paint my nails.  I would never have chipping nail polish again!

Oh....a girl can dream, right? Maybe I should have rounded up one of those lottery tickets!

Thought this was fitting :)

Luke 1:74:75
We have been rescued from our enemies, so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness for as long as we live.