And You Still Want to Have Children?

I went out last night to celebrate St Patrick' Day.  Now let's define what "going out" means. Depending on your age it could mean a variety of things.  When I was in college it meant dressing up with your best friends while drinking cheap beer (because you didn't have money to spend at the bar) and then heading out for a night which began at approximately 10:30 pm and ended in the wee morning hours.  I wouldn't take back those years for anything in the world, but now a night out for me consists of dinner, two drinks, and me yawning by 1100.  Also when you reach your 30's the night doesn't just end when you go to sleep it carries over into the next day when you wake up dehydrated and/or nauseous with a headache from hell.

This was pretty much the scenario last night.  Going out also reminds me of my age which is evident by the women and men much younger than me.  As my friend and I sat on the patio of a trendy new downtown bar we watched packs of young girls come in dressed to the nine.  They were all several years younger than me, but all managed to have Tory Burch and Michael Kors purses.  I watched a girl that appeared to be all of 23 years old that was dressed as if she had planned her outfit out of the pages of Lucky magazine tote in a $350 Michael Kors bag. ( I know this because I look at this bag every time I go into Belk, from afar, because I could never, ever, bring myself to buy a $350 handbag.)  $150 yes, but not $350.  Yes, I am sure this girl's daddy bought her this handbag because if she had actually earned the money, the credit card wouldn't swipe so swiftly on the purchase.  This is my competition I thought.  Younger, prettier girls that obviously come from money.  Great...

Even so we were actually having an enjoyable time until I was approached by someone.  Which on any other day would be a good thing because I rarely get approached.  I hear people actually get asked out in bars, but this never seems to happen to me.  I could tell from the get go this one wasn't a keeper (mainly because of his very awkward nature aka "no game whatsoever"), but I humored him when he told me I didn't look a day older than 27.  The first strike came when he told me he was a doctor at UAB.  After I asked him what kind, he told me he had a PhD in something.  Oh....pet peeve.  Then you're not a doctor! The only doctors in my book are medical doctors.  If you can't operate on someone you are not a doctor.  You're an expert on the topic, but not a doctor so please don't refer to yourself as one in social settings. Then it came, he eventually asked me how old I actually was.  When I told him, he followed it up with, "And you still want to have children?"  Really? Seriously dude?!  I'm 31, not 45.  Thank you for reminding me of my biological clock.  I really don't think about it near enough.  At that point he told me a bunch of more random things about himself (which I didn't care to know), he was a divorcee with two kids, 16 and 13, and kept wanting to give me random high fives at various points in the conversation. Then ended it with,  "We should exchange numbers."  Oh, good Lord have mercy.....  What about this scenario makes you think we should exchange numbers?!  When he went to go get a pen to get my number (Yes, he actually was going to write my number on  napkin like it was 1995) we left.  As my friend took me back to my car I wondered are they any just any average, normal people left or am I left with 41 year old divorcees? I really don't want to be a stepmother.  Is it too much to ask to want to be married to someone that has never been married?

Seriously, I really don't want a lot, but as I enter into my 30's, I realize the things I want seem to be hard to come by.  If I had to make a personal ad it would go something like this....  In search of someone who is good (and by that I mean someone who loves God, who is kind, thoughtful, compassionate, tolerant, and hard-working).  Someone who laughs everyday at as many things as he can. Someone who is gainfully employed. Someone who is familiar with the term "savings account".  Someone who knows how to have fun, who enjoys a drink or two (but just not 6 or 8). Someone who enjoys the little things in life.  Someone to drink a cup of coffee with in the morning.  Really, just someone whose favorite place in the world is right beside me.  So applicants are welcome, but for now I will just dodge middle-aged divorcees and hold out hope my prince charming is just around the corner.  Maybe my ovaries will hold out....maybe. :)

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone, and don't forget to wear your green tomorrow!

It's No Kind of Religion At All......

Lent is upon us.  I am not Catholic and have never really participated in Lent.  However, I thought now is a good as time as ever.  I felt like I needed to give up and add some things to my life to focus on what Jesus did for me.  Therefore, I decided to give up soft drinks, not caffeine, just soft drinks.  Let's face it I would have a raging headache everyday about 300 if I gave up caffeine.  Also, I decided to pump the brakes on worrying.  I, by nature, am not an anxious person, but I can worry with the best of them.  I worry that I left my hair straightner on in the morning.  I worry about my mother's blood pressure.  I worry that I won't ever get married.  I worry that my ovaries will be too dried up to produce a baby if I ever do get married.  I worry that I am not a good enough person.  Like I said I can worry with the best of them.  Therefore, giving up worrying is next to impossible with me.  So I decided to worry less.  I know as a Christian person worrying is useless because we know the answer.....everything is going to be OK.  We are sinners, every single one of us, but fortunately for me and you we have a loving God that sent his Son to die for us.  Jesus took what we all deserved so we could have abundant grace.  If you really grasp that, if you really accept someone died a horrible death to save you.  You are forever changed. 

I wish everyone could feel that comfort and peace that comes with that realization, but I think present day Christians go about spreading the gospel the wrong way.  This was evident when I went to Mardi Gras last weekend.  I saw a lot of self righteous people spreading hate and judgment down Bourbon Street, standing in groups spewing hateful message from their bullhorns, and it made me sick to my stomach.  How ashamed Jesus would be I thought to myself and looked at them with disappointment.  We quickly forget, Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.  As I walked back to my hotel I saw a lone evangelist by himself with a sign that said, "God is Love".  He had no bullhorn, and he smiled sweetly at me as he handed me a booklet that just simply had a printed smiley face that read, "Jesus loves you."  I went to bed with hope that some people out there still preach the message that Jesus speaks of in the gospel.

I recently read a very interesting theory in a Tim Keller book, Jesus the King. (I would highly encourage you to read a Tim Keller book no matter your stance on Christianity.  It is worth your time.)  Mr. Keller reveals that there are typically two types of people in life.  The moralist and the self-discoverer.  The moralist believes in traditional values and follows all the rules that religion sets to be a "good person."  While a person on the self-discovery path feels they must decide what is wrong and right for them.  The moralist says, "The good people are in and the bad people are out.  And of course we are the good ones"  The self discoverer says, "The progressive, open-minded people are in and the judgmental bigots are out.  And of course we are the open-minded people."  Both theories are self-righteous.  Often progressive, open-minded "urbanites" disdain religious, moralistic people who look down on others.  Mr. Keller points out the irony that the self-discovery approach leads to just as much superiority and self-righteousness that religions do.  Mr. Keller emphasizes the Gospel does not say the good are in and the bad are out; the open-minded people are in and the judgmental are out. What it does say....

"The humble are in and the and the proud are out.  The Gospel says the people who know they're not better, not more open-minded, not more moral than anyone else, are in, and the people who think they are on the right side of the divide are most in danger."

I think I will end with an imaginary conversation (which I also read in Jesus the King) between a new Christian in Rome that explains Christianity well.

Neighbor: I hear you are religious! Great! Religion is a good thing.  Where is your temple?
Christian: We don't have a temple.  Jesus is our temple.
Neighbor: No temple? But where do your priests work and do their rituals?"
Christian: We don't have priests to meditate the presence of God.  Jesus is our priest.
Neighbor: What kind of religion is this?

The answer is it's no kind of religion at all.  It is the gospel, and it's a gift that is freely given to anyone that asks for it.  No matter what religion you practice, what rules and rituals your church sees fit to practice.  That's religion, but the gospel is a gift. No matter who you are or what you've done.

If you gave up something for Lent, good luck, and hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Happily Ever After

I read an interesting article this week on The New York Post's website entitled, "The Science of Happily Ever After".  (You can find the article here: http://nypost.com/2014/02/02/for-real-long-lasting-love-the-no-1-trait-to-seek-is-niceness-expert/ ) With Valentine's Day fast approaching I figured the article would once again talk about finding true love and how wonderful life is once you find your "other half"; however, it was actually a very blunt article about finding a love that endures. I will turn 32 years old in just a few short months; therefore, I will take any advice I can get on how to achieve the "happily ever after" even though I have long since realized life and love are never quite like fairy tales.  I used to have time frames and deadlines, but those all went out the window a while back when I realized happiness and joy is a choice you make every day.  I choose to be a happy person.  I choose to recognize how richly blessed I am.  I'm already happy, but who wouldn't want to share all those happy moments with someone, particularly if he's cute and funny. ;)

So the article discusses how to choose a partner that will produce a long-term, happy relationship.  Specifically, it lists qualities to look for in a mate and personality traits one needs to avoid.  So what is the best personality indicator for sustaining a loving relationship?  Drum roll.......  Agreeableness aka "the nice guy".  The article specifically describes the nice guy below:

"Agreeableness, one of the Big Five personality traits in the Five Factor Model of human psychology, describes someone who is “courteous, flexible, trusting, good-natured, cooperative, forgiving, soft-hearted and tolerant.”

Well...thanks, I think I knew this, but why do most women often steer clear of these characteristics.  Why do women not just choose the nice guy?  It's "the list".  They get out that list and begin checking qualities he doesn't have than lose sight of all the good qualities he DOES have.  This article points this out, noting people are just too picky and suggested people should pick three qualities they really value in a mate, the ones that are not negotiable.  However, the author then states even three qualities are hard to find in a potential partner; "The more traits you pick that are above the average, the lower the statistical odds that you’ll find a match. And three is the tipping point."  The article then bursts my bubble indicating if I want a somewhat attractive man, that is over 6 feet tall, and makes the average income my chances are 1 in every 100 men.  What the hell?  I am getting older by the minute and live in the great state of Alabama where everyone gets married at the ripe old age of 27.  My choices are already limited, kick me when I'm down. :)

So the question is, "Are people too picky?" Do people just not compromise? Is that why the divorce rate is so high because people just aren't getting everything on their "list" from their partner?  A surprising statistic the article notes is 80% of people still believe in soul mates.  Really?! I don't get people that think there is only one person in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD that is meant just for them. It just doesn't make sense to me.  What happens if you meet your "soul mate" at 22 and then they die one year after you get married.  That's it? No second chances?  I can't buy into that.

Another statistic mentioned in the article is 90% of people will marry in their life. (So there is hope for me yet.)  Then the Debbie Downer only 3 out of 10 people will find enduring love in their relationship.  So what are qualities that should be thrown off the table when assessing your mate? Attractiveness and money.  Like Judge Judy says, "Beauty fades, dumb is forever."  I knew that already.  You are the only one that has to think the person is attractive. Let's be honest we can't all marry Ryan Gosling.  The article also notes money helps to an extent then results in extra stress and social pressures.  Like Biggie said, "Mo money, mo problems." So looks and money both can be temporary, but personality traits are often there to stay, so look for the "agreeable, nice guy".  Plus, the article notes agreeable men are often better in bed since there are typically kind and thoughtful.  So ladies nice guys should finish first. ;)

So what does the article say to avoid, the worst trait that will ruin a relationship.  "Neurotocism or someone prone to anxiety, depression, embarrassment, emotional instability and insecurity."  Reportedly, neurotic people tend to never be satisfied with their relationships, constantly worry, and typically break up with their partners (particularly if their mate is not a neurotic person).  Note to self, avoid neurotic people from this day forward. 

So the moral of the story is look for the nice guy, compromise, and avoid self-centered, neurotic people and you might just end up with a love that lasts.  I think I will end with my favorite quote from the article:

"A grown-up love story should not be a fairy tale or a romantic tragedy, but instead should be approached as a mystery.  If the goal is to find the truth in love, to search for love that is real and enduring, then love cannot be left to fate.”

Hope everyone has a good Valentine's Day tomorrow! Make sure you tell someone how much you love them (even though you should everyday)!

FYI:  Lots of the quotes and stats were taken from the book: The Science of Happily Ever After: What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love (Ty Tashiro, Ph.D)

Life Without Facebook, Part 2

So I did it.  At the stroke of midnight on New Year's Day I deleted my Facebook app from my iPhone.  I was not able to see what everybody did to celebrate the new year.  However, life did go on without this knowledge.  Then on New Year's Day I decided to deactivate my account.  As I logged in it took me some time to even find out how to do so.  However, I did find the instructions.  After reading what was necessary to deactivate and reactivate your account, I realized that you must use your login email to reactivate your account.  My login email is my Auburn University email account that has been inactivate for years since I am over 30 at this point.  (Yes, I was on Facebook when you actually had to be enrolled in college to have an account.) I have tried to change my primary email, but it never works for some reason.  My mind began to wonder and I thought what if I deactivate my account and I am not able to reactivate it, losing my Facebook profile to the world wide web forever. (slight panic attack) Therefore, I decided to attempt to change my email once again and just leave my account active.  I mean I do have self-control for God's sake.

Unfortunately, my email address did change this time and now it will taunt me with messages, indicating I have notifications and unread messages. What?! After the third email indicating this, curiosity took over.  I had to find out.  Curiosity killed the cat.  As anticipated it was nothing of any relevance.  I did have several people express disappointment that I was leaving which was flattering, but I actually felt more contentment  knowing that people actually read the stuff I post and find it somewhat interesting!  Also so many people have confided in me that they too are addicted to social media. However, I've learned social media doesn't control you unless you let it.  It isn't bad to log into Facebook at times.  It is bad to have to look at it constantly throughout the day, wasting time that could be spent actually enjoying life.  In fact, Facebook actually helped when the Snowpocalypse happened last month.  When I was stranded in my office, Facebook helped me more than anything to determine what roads were safe to travel.  So the moral of the story is I needed to pump the brakes on MY Facebooking, BUT it turns out I was the problem and not Facebook. Here are some suggestions (well some are pet peeves) to help social media NOT control your life.

• Delete the Facebook app from your phone.  I still don't have the app on my phone.  You don't need it.  Plus, you won't look at it during boring meetings at work, while in traffic (don't act like you haven't), or any other opportunity throughout the day.  Plus, you won't get those annoying notifications tempting you to check your Facebook.
• Swear Facebook off at work.  Some employers ban it, smart move because if you have a job like me where you sit in an office you look at it too much.  Has it increased my productivity at work?  I don't know about that; I am a pretty good procrastinator.
• Resist the urge to share every Instagram picture you take with Facebook. (Guilty as charged!)
• If you do login only look at people you really care about, block people from your Newsfeed you don't.  No one wants to see someone you randomly knew in college taking an elaborate European vacation, someone who comments on every stupid social issue, or your ex having so much fun in his new relationship.
• You don't have to read every single BuzzFeed.  I secretly believe the devil made that site up to kill productivity.
• Resist the urge to like every single status you see.  I never really did this, but I see some people that have liked every single status on my Newsfeed. WTF? You don't really like all that or either your the most optimistic person on the planet.

• Don't friend people you don't know.  I mean when did Facebook become My Space? Sorry, I'm not going to add you as a friend just because we grew up in the same vicinity or because we have three mutual friends.  I need to have actually met you in person to add you as a friend.  I see people with 1000 friends on Facebook and I'm flabbergasted; I don't even know 1000 people.

• Stop wishing people Happy Birthday that you barely know.  I have a test for you.  Compare how many people call or text you on your birthday to your Facebook Newsfeed.  Those are your real friends.  You know the people that remember your birthday by memory not because the right side of your Facebook reminds you.

• For the love of everything good, stop posting close-up pictures of your engagement ring with the caption, "I said yes!" #petpeeve

• Last, but not least.  If you are in a happy relationship with someone I, too, am happy for you.  However, I have a small suggestion for you.  Text them, call them, or just tell them in person about your feelings.  Don't communicate your feelings over Facebook, that is unless you are 16 then this is acceptable.  If you are over the age of 20 no one needs updates on your "soul mate". 

Have a good day everyone and see ya on Facebook! (Just not as often.)

Story of a Girl in "Gridlock"

Tuesday, January 28, 2014 started off like any other day.  I was running late, as usual, and debated on whether to put my golden retriever, Lucy, out or leave her in the house.  I knew it was supposed to drop below freezing and lightly snow, and anticipated her water would freeze.  However, I decided to put her out as usual since she seems to actually enjoy the cold. I drove to work in downtown Birmingham, specifically 5 points with no difficulty.  After I had been at work a couple of hours I heard one of my coworkers excitedly yell, "It's snowing!" I sit in a windowless office so I was unaware and not phased.  I did notice when I walked across to our clinic to see my 1030 patient it was steadily coming down.  During my appointment I was informed that UAB and all UAB clinics would close at 1200 and it pretty much went downhill from there.

 Everyone in downtown Birmingham immediately tried to rush out the doors to go to the grocery store, pick up their child, or just get home safe before it got bad.  However, what nobody knew was it already was bad and all those people would soon form the worst traffic jam Birmingham has ever seen.  What followed next was absolute chaos.  I stayed at work until 300 and attempted to drive home, spending 45 minutes in the car going 5 blocks before I committed to sleeping in my office.  When I returned several people in my office remained and Southside Birmingham was a solid sheet of ice.  We figured this out when we walked to Fuego a couple of blocks away to get dinner.  You had to watch your step very precisely.  I can't believe not a single one of us fell.  I retreated to my office and was glad I had a warm spot to spend the night as I watched the live stream from Fox 6 News of hundreds of abandoned cars and people still stuck on I-65.  Every major road in Birmingham was in a "gridlock" as they kept insisting on calling it.  Basically a parking lot.  I worried about all those people stuck in their cars, walking to a safe place; and was grateful for the kindness of strangers that helped.  At 1100 I laid on my floor with a Boppy pillow I found in our clinic and my coat as I blanket.  I slept three hours and then since I was getting little to no rest just got up.  I spent the next few hours checking the weather, scanning Pinterest, checking James Spann's Facebook page, and watching American Psycho on my computer.  (#ihavetoreturnsomevideotapes) At 7 AM I decided to walk to the Waffle House with my friend to assess the situation. Ghost town and solid ice again, plus the Waffle House was closed.  I had kept a positive attitude up until this point, but slowly I became more and more down hearted regarding my chances of getting home.  Further, let me just clue in people what not to say to someone who is iced in at their place of employment.

• Traffic tracker lady if you tell me one more time to stay at home and enjoy my family I will come down to Fox 6 News and punch you in the face.  I am not at home; therefore, I can't enjoy anything,  especially anything at home.  In addition, I'm all about people helping people, but I want to see the traffic where I can get home, not the man at Home Depot in Pelham giving away free coffee.  Report the friggin' traffic.
• If you are from a state that experiences cold weather frequently I don't want to hear about how you are an expert at driving in icy conditions and that this isn't anything compared to (fill in cold weather state).
• Please don't tell me how lucky I am not to be stuck in my car.  I realize this and I'm thankful, but I'm also pissed and got three hours of sleep last night on my office floor. I want to go home.
• Please if you are on Facebook don't make fun of how Birmingham is in a gridlock because of 2 inches of snow.  It must be nice to drive home to your warm nice home and not have hundreds of 18-wheelers and abandoned cars blocking your way, not have to leave your babies at daycare or school because you just can't get to them.  Geez Louise, have a little compassion.
• Plus, while I am scanning Facebook to determine what roads I can take home without having a wreck or being stuck in traffic for hours on end, I noticed all these people, cute children, and families having "so much fun" on their "snow day". "Fun" not quite the word I would use for my "snow day".  Hey, at least someone enjoyed it because I sure didn't.
• This is unrelated, but you telling James Spann, Mickey Ferguson, or any other meteorologist how poorly they forecast the weather does not change the situation and some comments are just downright rude.  Everyone makes mistakes and I am sure they feel bad enough already without your two cents.

After watching the news and studying what roads could take me home, I concluded I-65 is impassable and I had to find another route.  I asked Facebook, I called people, and finally devised a route.  I had to get home for my own sanity and to check on my dog.  When I left my office, I had been confined to 5 points for 28 hours.  Not knowing what to expect, I formed a caravan with my friend and her husband and headed out.  If I got stuck I would get in the car with them and vice versa.  Southside was a breeze and the major Homewood roads were sanded.  As we went under I-65 to reach Green Springs it was at a stand still, a gridlock, a parking lot.  Abandoned cars were everywhere.  Some pulled off to the side of the road, some in the middle of the road, and some just where they ended when they slid across the road.  It was like the majority of people said, "Forget this" and hoofed it to a warm place.  We decided our best bet was 280 and it was.  We merged onto 280 from Lakeshore Drive with no difficulty and were met with tons of abandoned cars that we had to weave around.  There were people everywhere walking to retrieve their cars.  Some people hitched rides, some I had no idea where they were going.  Once past the obstacle course, traffic formed one line until the Summit and everyone surprisingly enough was courteous.  After the Summit it was smooth sailing and I quickly made it to Hoover.  However, the situation in Hoover didn't look any better.  People all over Birmingham were in dire straits last night.  Thankfully, most cars were empty, I just pray the people in them found a warm place to sleep last night.

I made it home after almost 3 hours in the car and Lucy appeared not phased by my absence.  So all in all everything worked out.  I am so thankful to be home tonight, but I am still praying for all those stuck somewhere, especially my buddies at UAB Sparks Clinics. Thanks to everyone that prayed for me today or called to check on me, even though I might have been grumpy.  When I logged in Facebook today to check the roads this was the first post I saw and I thought if was fitting for today.

"Safe? ... Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you."

-CS Lewis

Remember God is GOOD all the time! And a big Happy Birthday to my brother! He spent his birthday stuck in a Quality Inn in Anniston, but I hope it was happy anyways! Stay safe Birmingham!

10 Things My Golden Retriever Has Taught Me

Today was a beautiful day.  I decided to take Lucy (my golden retriever) for a walk when I got home from church.  She anxiously awaited the walk, as she held her head outside the car window anticipating where we were going.  As we began our stroll she immediately found the nearest mud puddle and proceeded to sit right in the middle of it, as she lapped up the water, quenching her thirst.  At that moment I envied her dog's life.  No worries.  No self-awareness. Complete happiness!  The rest of the walk I thought about what lessons she has taught me over the last five years she has spent with me.

1. Take every opportunity to show people you love how much you love them.  I am greeted everyday when I come home from work with a wagging tail.  Her excitement is over the top, as if she has been waiting all day for the second I walked through the door.  She doesn't let one day go by without showing me how much she has missed me.  Excitement usually fades with people but not with golden retrievers, not with Lucy.
2. A car ride is best enjoyed with the windows down.
3. Demand attention and affection.  Most people let others assume what they need or want.  Lucy asks for attention when she wants it.  Lucy will demand attention when she feels she needs it.  She barks as she is standing in front of me.  She paws at me while I'm laying on the couch.  She nudges her nose underneath my arm to encourage petting.  She whines at my bedside in the morning to insist I wake up.  She won't go unnoticed.  What if people just told others what they needed? How much easier would relationships be? Sometimes I wish I could be as bold as her when asking others for what I need.
4. Don't waste time on people that don't like you.  I read a quote once that said, "You are not made for everyone to like you" and what a true statement it is.  Lucy reads people quickly, if she senses you don't like her then she won't waste one second on you, instead she puts all of her energy into people that appreciate her, love her.  Only if people could do this....
5. Forgive quickly.  Lucy doesn't hold grudges if someone loses their temper with her. She might stay mad a couple of minutes.  After that, it's as if it never happened.  No bitterness, no hurt feelings.  She is just glad to be back in your good graces. 
6. Enjoy the little things.  A long walk. A mud puddle. Sunshine.  A car ride.  A visit from a loved one.  Day to day activities  bring Lucy immense happiness; she doesn't know anything else but the little things.  All the moments and seconds that make up the majority of your life, Lucy cherishes.  She doesn't let a moment slip away from her.
7. Eat well and often.  Don't be picky.  Lucy would eat all day, everyday if I would let her.  Her palate is vast.  She never misses an opportunity to eat and will wait patiently by your side while you are eating just for the chance to have one bite of your food.  Sometimes she gets so excited at the thought of eating she will jump up and down or spin in circles!
8. There is always enough minutes in the day for a nap. Don't feel bad if you take one.
9. Don't be afraid to get dirty.  The best things in life require you to sweat.  Lucy doesn't care to get down and dirty to have a little fun.
10. Love unconditionally.  Lucy loves hard.  She doesn't care if I'm pretty, educated, skinny, wealthy, funny; she just loves me because I am her person.  She has been the love of my life for the past five years.  She's mended my broken hearts and provided me cheer when I needed it the most.  She senses my sadness and always sits near, sometimes with her head in my lap as if to say, "Everything will be OK."

And everything usually is.

Life without Facebook, New Year's Resolution Part 1

I wake up and look at my phone.  I looked at it right before I went to bed, but I need to make sure nothing really important has happened in the past 6-8 hours I have been asleep.  I'm admitting it.  I am addicted to social media.  I love it.  It's almost like stalking someone, but they are willingly letting you do it.  However, social media is somewhat bittersweet.  I do get to see all my friends' life experiences even friends I haven't seen in years.  I see smiling babies and cute children dressed up in their Halloween costumes.  I get to see Christmas parties, engagement rings, and awesome vacations, all the happy moments in life.  It makes me happy to see all my Facebook "friends" happy.  However, then you get to see all the things you really don't care to see. Comments regarding social issues that are really just ridiculous.  People making vague status updates that are obviously self-serving.  And God forbid it is election time....  Sometimes I think I would be better off without Facebook.  Sometimes when I log off I feel depressed.  Wow, I won't ever get to go on a vacation like that; I won't ever make that much money.  She got engaged?! I thought for sure I would get married before her.  She is pregnant with her third child?! I don't even have one kid and I am 31 years old.  He is dating her now?! Really?!  Then I convince myself I will live an old maid spinster life.

The thing about it is, my life is pretty friggin' awesome, but the comparison factor is stealing my joy.  My boyfriend does not have a Facebook account.  We were discussing one of his ex-girlfriends and he had absolutely no idea what she was doing now.  This concept in modern day social media is unheard of, but I was actually jealous.  How awesome would that be to actually close a chapter in you life (e.g., a job, friendship, relationship, etc.) without social media constantly reminding you of your past.  After questioning him why he does not have an account his response was "If I wanted to talk to someone I would call them.  If I wanted to see someone I would."  The wheels started to turn.  Let's be honest most of my Facebook "friends" really aren't my friends.  I decided to deactivate my Facebook account for as long as I can in 2014.  I am not going to compare my life to someone else's happy moments; I am just going to BE HAPPY.  Secondly, and most importantly, this should free up lots of time, since I look at Facebook entirely too much.  I think I can do it, particularly since this is not a permanent decision AND I am not deleting my Instagram account. :)  So one more day of Facebook, before I click the deactivate button.  I am going to savor it! I hope everyone has a Happy New Year and good luck with all those resolutions!